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The Truth Behind Why My Parents Have High Expectations For Me To Be Successful

They want me to be financially stable, so that I won't have to suffer like they did.

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The Truth Behind Why My Parents Have High Expectations For Me To Be Successful
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After seeing a picture of Chloe's immigrant father holding a homemade (and laminated!) sign to cheer her on as she competed in the Winter Olympics, I started to become emotional. Not because Chloe took home the first-place gold win for Team USA in the women's snowboard halfpipe final, but the proud look on her father's face was enough to make my eyes tear up a bit.

I couldn't help but think of my own parents.

Similar to most immigrants, my mother and father had traveled a long distance from their home country, Vietnam, to move to a completely foreign land with a minimal amount of money and little support. Not to mention that they barely knew how to speak English. But fast forward to today and my parents both have great full-time jobs, three children enrolled in school, a beautiful home, and a comfortable lifestyle.

It’s crazy to think that they went from having nothing to everything within a few decades. They didn’t have a college education; all they really needed was hard work and determination.

And like many first generation children, I was strongly encouraged by my parents to get a career as a doctor, dentist, scientist, engineer...basically anything that could make big bucks.

After all, that's where the stereotype that all Asians were smart and good at math, science, etc. came from. I have always hated that stereotype because I never developed a love or passion for the fields that my parents wanted me to go into. To be honest, I even found it irritating that they keep pushing those unrealistic expectations onto me.

I decided to study journalism instead and that was the end of it.

Of course, it won't make as much money as a doctor would, but at least I would be happy doing something that I’m passionate about. Plus, it was nice to not have my parents pressure me and control my decisions anymore. Or at least, that was how I used to see it.

Then, I truly began to think about why my parents cared so much about money. I tried to look from their traditional perspective and honestly…the truth hurts.

Yes, there was a lot of pressure on me to excel, but there was also pressure on my parents.

So no, I'm not mad that they have high expectations for me to be successful. In fact, I'm going to surpass those expectations.

I realize now that my parents have been doing everything in their power to give me my best chance at a great life. The life that they didn’t have when they were my age. They want me to be successful, to make a lot of money so that I could have all the opportunities that they didn’t.

Like I said earlier, my mom and dad came to America with pretty much nothing. They left their friends, family, and the comfort of Vietnam.

My mom had to constantly go from business to business, looking for a minimum wage job.

My mom was bullied and made fun of at work for not speaking English well, but nevertheless she persisted.

My dad worked graveyard shifts and always worked overtime if he could.

My dad took up multiple side jobs to earn money: rental properties, garage sales, and even selling aluminum cans.

They were always on the lookout for sales and still managed to provide their family with more than enough. Whatever my brothers and I wanted or needed, our mom and dad always came through.

To them (and especially in a capitalist economy), money was important, but not because they were stingy, greedy, and cheap. That’s another Asian stereotype that boils my blood...Asians are not money-hungry. Every penny that my parents tried to save was never spent on themselves.

Instead, they were always saving money for my two younger brothers and me.

My dad never forgets to remind me that everything he does is in our best interests; everything was for our futures, so that my siblings and I wouldn’t have to suffer like our parents did.

Even though I might not always agree with my parents’ views, I understand where they’re coming from.

And it all comes down to this: love.

The sacrificial love that my parents have for their children, the love that any proper parent should have, is endless and indescribable. They were already thinking of my future before I existed and there’s no way that I could ever fully repay them.

And that’s the thing. My parents don’t want me to repay them; they have never asked me to give them anything in return except to be a good person.

But I want to repay them in any way that I can. I want to express my gratitude. Once I graduate and get a professional job, I want to make sure that they can live comfortably and never have to worry about finances ever again.

Chloe's father called her his American Dream and it made me wonder if I could be the American Dream for my parents.

So even though the 2018 Winter Olympics have come to an end this past weekend, the relationship between Chloe and her father hits close to home and will continue to resonate with me.

I might not be the doctor that my parents always wanted to be, but I can promise them that no matter what I end up becoming in life, I will be thinking of them. I will always be grateful to them. I will make sure to take care of them like they’ve taken care of me. I will make them proud. I will make their sacrifices worthwhile.

I owe it to them.

One way or another, I will be their American Dream.


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