The modern human being is known to over sexualize everything. Among the years, we have minimize the amount of clothes to wear in order to obtain the so wanted "sexy" look. Most of the people look at a banana and have dirty thoughts. Holidays -even Christmas!- are occasions we clearly can find models portraying the sexual side of it. Everything seems to be sexual today, except one thing; disable people.
It is real annoying the amount of people that believes disable people has no sexual desires or even sadder, that the desire exist but not the ways of pleasing them because "it would be impossible!" Personally, I have met people that gets surprise because I dye my hair, do my make up, dress up nicely and have a boyfriend. Believe it or not, these are the kind of people that stick around, metaphorically poking me with all kind of stupid questions just to make way to the one they really want to ask: can you have sex? Proceeding to faint when my answer is Yes.
If sex has become such a common thing to think and joke about nowadays, why it still so difficult to accept the fact that disable people can do it?
I propose to able bodied people to sit in a chair and not stand for one hour, during that hour, think about what you can and can't do. I assure you, by the hour, you would have understood that you might not be able to pick a jar in the upper kitchen cabinets, but you would still feel your body, right? Would you stop wanting to have sex? I guess not.
Stereotyping disability with terms as asexual or non sexual are wrong and need to stop. I strongly believe we are capable of understanding the possibilities of intimacy no matter how your body looks or function.
Marita, (woman with SMA) from Poland, looking extremely sexy with her able-bodied boyfriend.
When I was younger I got to think a sexual relationship was impossible, because that's what I heard people saying. "A man would break her (and not in the kind of way we all know it happens)" as if I was some kind of crystal doll to manage. Hurtful things were also mentioned as "no one would like to be with a person who can't move," little they know. And I got to learn why people say those things, because they know nothing.
Because of the misunderstanding that exist about the sexual lives of people with disabilities is that I want to help others to learn about the reality of things. To do that I asked a bunch of people who struggle with the ignorance of the majority to speak out and help me to help them understand how things really work.
Maeghan Lyndtaker and boyfriend (24, woman with SMA) says, My biggest piece of advice is to be honest with your partner and work together to find creative ways to do things. Proving that the only thing needed for a healthy sexual life in a couple, is to communicate and be open minded.
Others wanted to express how normal or better than normal their sex life is. Brianne Mills (woman with SEPN1 MD) said,I think it's really sad how everyone assumes that people in wheelchairs can't have sex or enjoy it. My boyfriend and I have an incredible sex life. We do it at least one to three times a day.
Is time to stop thinking that for doing something in a different way, it means to unable to life a full life, and to have the experiences most of the people have.
Big part of being able to do what we want to do is because, like Maddie Parrota (woman with SMA as well) mentions, "you need to be comfortable with your body and love your body because sex won't be as enjoyable if you don't."
In other words, there is absolutely nothing in this world that with a thoughtful mind and a little bit of sugar cannot be done. As a community, we are trying our best to give a voice to educate others about sex and disability. Now is up to you to open your mind to the idea, do your research, experiment! Take my word on it, it's pretty damn good.
