How would dating be different if we only dated based on college majors?

English

They will absolutely have a strong opinion on the Oxford comma and hate it when you think all they do is read Shakespeare. Don’t expect to go on many evening dates, as they will be indulging in copious amounts of dense literature every night. Prepare to constantly be asked, “Can you read something for me?”

Kinesiology

This major likes long massages and ankle wraps as foreplay. They can be found working out in the school gym, sleeping in the school gym or anywhere in the general vicinity of the gym.

History

They most likely have a lot of back problems from carrying around so many textbooks. These majors are great to date if you have trouble with citations; they can pretty much perform annotated bibliographies in their sleep – when they actually have time to sleep.

Engineering

They think their major is better than yours and it’s true because let’s face it, they are learning to build spaceships while you write an essay response to a movie you watched in class. Tend to zone-out to sketch out schematics of robotic things on your wall.

Accounting

Good to date during tax season and on the spectrum of college majors they are probably most prepared for the real world. Math is their love language.

Education

For some strange reason, this major actually likes kids. They have big hearts and will most likely want to try lesson plans on you, so be ready to pretend you are a 3^rd grader for the duration of the relationship. Hope that isn’t too weird. . .

Music

Not available for dating during college. Unless you are a bassoon or practice room, you will never see any of these people during the light of day. So, if you see a cute alto or percussionist walking around don’t get your hopes up – they are far too busy trying to pass piano proficiency to pay any attention to you.

Business

This major loves to party, so be ready for endless weekends of keg-stands. Sure, business isn’t the most exciting major to study, but they’re all about dollars, not the diploma, right?

Theatre Arts

Prepared to go to every show and every cast-party. Realize that theatre majors are in general very incestuous; they have already dated or hooked-up with every person in their program. If they are dating you, it means they have run out of people to date.

Anthropology

They go on more research trips than any other student, so prepare for a lot of time apart and a lot of pictures of bones and ancient pottery. They don’t know exactly what they are doing with their lives, so don’t ask.

Theoretical Physics

It may or may not work out, but they are willing to talk about potentially dating at length.

Pre-law

Don’t give them statistics on the number people who go to law school vs. the number of people with jobs. Guess what? They don’t give a shit, and will argue with you until they win.

Psychology

Tend to attract drama and will secretly analyze you and your friends. Will automatically relate any psychological theory to current social situations.

Computer Science

They know way more about computers than anyone should, but that’s one of the reasons it’s great to date a tech savvy person to fix all your computer needs. Trust me, “I can program in Java, C/C++, Perl, Unix and even some Fortran” is probably the sexiest pick up line you could say to a millennial.

Design

Creative and super trendy, but please don’t call them a hipster. Unless you are a Mac desktop, don’t expect much action here.

Environmental Science

You must first know the ins and outs of recycling before even considering to ask this major out. Prepare for sexy Teva or Chaco tan lines year-round.

We hope dating goes a lot better now that you are well informed on what it’s like dating different majors. Best of luck on your romantic endeavors!