We, as in all men, have heard it everywhere, whether it be movie references, internet articles, comments by spouses, sisters, and/or moms; that men have the easiest life. Whether it be from, "guys don't have to deal with periods and cramps" to "guys don't have to worry about what other people think," and "guys don't have to go put on heels for every special event or occasion, etc."

The truth is, it's simply ignorant to say one gender or the other truly has it easy, when we both have social standards brought upon us - obstacles we must overcome, and circumstantial bad events that happen to each individual.

With that being said, men certainly do not have an easy life; we're far more complex than what meets the eye and to a greater extent similar to the opposite gender. This is what I, what "we" want women to know and understand about us.

Self Conscious

If you have met a guy who says he's not self-conscious, he's either lying or not a real human being for that matter. All guys are self-conscious although our outer perception says otherwise.

Women look at the idea that we just get up, throw on a t-shirt, throw on some basketball shorts and some shoes/slippers and we are good to go. This, in turn, creates the misconceived idea that we don't care about our outer appearance, therefore we must not be self-conscious about it. And, It couldn't be farther from the truth. We are not these unshakable foundations that aren't scared of social perceptions.

The truth is, we think about every little thing you can imagine when we walk out in to public. From my experience and something I think all men can relate to is when I'm walking through a mall or any public setting, I have had anywhere from a guy giving me a compliment on a t-shirt to girls looking at me with anything from a simple smile to just a simple gaze. But, it does not change the hilarious thought process that ensues. You see, I don't think, "Oh, hey, this guy simply likes my t-shirt or this girl is into me," No.

My thought process goes as follows. "Shit, did I stain my shirt?" "Fuck, is my hair sticking up?" "Holy crap, my fly is down isn't it?"

Our thought process is chaotic, it can go from thinking absolutely nothing (trust me it is possible) to having a million thoughts rushing through my/our mind. We're simply self-conscious as much as women, the next time you're on a date or meeting a new guy, just know that if you're thinking about a million things that might be wrong with you, his brain is in utter chaos thinking about the same thing. You might even want to carry a fire extinguisher, because it can look like this...

Social Expectations

From the beginning of civilization, society has put on a cloak of social expectations on to the shoulders of men and women. Anything from, you must be married or you're frowned upon to if you're a male, you must be the bread winner with a job or face being frowned upon and etc.

Social expectations suck and for the foreseeable future, I don't think they'll ever go away. We men face a multitude of expectations, and here are some we'd like for you to know.

Emotions

Think about it... ever since men were kids, we're supposed to keep up with this stoic demeanor. if we cried, we were made fun of for simply showing our emotions, as it was a sign of weakness. So we learned to suppress those emotions till we were alone; all men have been there, trust me, sitting in a room just pouring out and not telling anyone about our emotions, as it is not natural for us to tell or show our problems.

We are far more complex than perceived, we're vulnerable and we're sensitive; we have a tendency when hurt, to suppress it and hope we can forget about it. All the emotions we have, we're taught to repress and push down, even though we feel them just as much as women do. This means that from an early age we're never taught to deal with these emotions we have, so they manifest into anger, which explains sometimes the way we act.

It should feel normal to want to be held, to cry out of sheer frustration and grief, to be able to be vulnerable; but, for some reason, we've been brought up in society, where it's looked down or frowned upon if men want or do these things. We can be anything we dream to be, but we can't be afraid.

Labels

Social perception can often give rise to labeling people, which can ultimately suck for the person that was labeled without ever doing anything to create the misconception of himself/herself. Men certainly have a fair share of labels they do not want associated with - whether it be creepy, stalker, sex offender, controlling, or etc.

Take for example in my case, many instances at night coming out of a movie, or heading back to the hotel in the city - I've had to watch my pace for fear of making a woman uneasy if we were walking a similar path. As an intimidating male, I'm constantly checking my creep/weird factor, I have had to think and choose my words carefully in conversation with a women, for fear I don't get labeled. It sucks that if I were ever lost in a city at night, and approached a woman for directions, I'd make her feel uneasy and scared, something I would feel horrible about.

The male in this scenario can be the nicest and most east going guy in the world, but it won't help making a girl feel uneasy. The feeling comes from seeing so many horrible crimes done to women and grouping all males, as one, and as a threat.

I can't blame a woman for being uneasy at night when approached by a male, she has every right to be; it's just shining the light onto the fact that males fear approaching a woman as much as women fear being approached. It sucks for both parties. As long as there is prejudice in the world, labels are simply something men will always face.

Crime

Whether it be rape or domestic violence - how many times do you see commercials, celebrity advocates, organizations showing light onto rape and domestic violence on women? A decent amount, yes.

But, how much do you see advocacy for the males victims? Yes, domestic violence and rape is very real and a majority of the victims are women and I will continue to advocate to end both of these things as they are things no one should ever have to go through. The part we want women to know is that men have no voice and we certainly don't have the same equal amount of national attention to male domestic or rape violence victims.

According to the CDC 1 in 4 males in the U.S will be a victim of domestic violence and according to the CDC 1 in 25 males are rape victims.

Here's the ugly truth, we face.

Take for instance, you have a man who cancels on his friends on a guys night out or event because his girlfriend or wife said no and everyone will likely understand. But, if roles were reversed and the bf/husband said the same sentence word for word, friends and family would more than likely become concerned.

You see the double standard. The woman would just be labeled as needy and jealous, but the male would be perceived as controlling and probably something along the lines of abusive. Double standards affect both rape and domestic violence cases, in a he said she said situation, people are most likely going to believe the woman; as men are viewed as powerful and not capable of being a victim of such a crime.

So many times I've seen rape or domestic accusations against males that have been complete utter lies; where the male has been deemed guilty of the accusation without ever stepping in court with evidence to prove his innocence. A woman can ruin a innocent man's reputation with a fake accusation such as rape or domestic violence and no repercussions will come her way. (It happens to professional athletes a lot.)

Males have to have a decent amount of evidence to prove their innocence and it will still not destroy the stigma that was created by the accusation. The sad truth is that if a male said a women raped him or hit him, he would get a chuckle or laugh from his friends or close ones - as it is seemed as something that could never happen to men due to physical superiority and stereotype.

Both genders should be able to get fair treatment in such cases as these, but it seems men will always get the shorthand of the stick and women will always be given the benefit of doubt.

Overall Thoughts

This is not an article bashing women, this is reality for us men, we live it everyday and we want you to know and understand that our lives are far more complex than deemed.

We're vulnerable, we're sensitive, we fear, and we think as much as you do - those emotions never show, but they live to one day see daylight. Ladies, if you have partner, bf or husband, at this random moment; talk to them, hug them, kiss them, you don't know how much it'll truly mean to them.

Both genders have equally amount of hardships that they face, and its unfair to say one has it easy over the other. I truly hope you listen and understood us even for a moment, as this is merely only the surface of what comes along with being a man.

Like I said, we're complex.