As I’m sure many of you know, I participated in something called the Disney College Program for Spring Advantage 2016. I was down in Orlando for about eight months, arriving January 11th and departing August 4th. My original role, the one I was hired for, was concierge at a romantic moderate resort called Port Orleans (both sides, because I'm positive you were wondering).

About four or five months into my program I was told that I was being moved, “deployment” in Disney terms, to the parks. I was moved and started working at Typhoon Lagoon, a water park, as a Quick Service cast member. Those that knew me while I was there know that I was not happy. At all. Everyday someone would ask how I liked my new location and I would not hesitate to notify them that I hated it and then I would proceed to tell them all the reasons why I hated it: I got paid less, I had less days off and similar hour counts, the guests treated me differently, I couldn’t make the same magical moments for them as before and my Leaders were not as approachable or understanding. The list went on and on in my mind.

Needless to say, the last few months of my program were particularly rough. I was no longer on the same work schedule as my friends so making plans became extremely difficult. I got out of work a lot earlier which meant I went into work a lot earlier, meaning I had to plan my nights and mornings differently than before. And because I had a small wrist tattoo and was dealing with food, I was forced to wear long sleeves in the middle of summer in a 80 degree kitchen every day.

After that long backstory, I’m going to finally explain why I actually decided to write this article!

December is coming to an end and so are the programs of a few people I met in Disney. Which means, soon, everyone will be experiencing something Disney Programs alumni like to call: Post Disney Depression, or "PDD." Many people don't think it exists, but it does, it's very real and everyone feels it.

I’ve been back home about four months now. Around week one of being back I noticed a pattern within myself: slight depression. I say slight because it was not really impairing me in any way. I was able to function properly, I got up, I ate, I looked for a job, fixed things for school etc. The only thing that was noticeably different was that when I had to leave the house I would get uncontrollably sad. For no reason at all I would cry in my car as I was headed somewhere. If I had plans with friends I would often times cancel the day of, even an hour before I was supposed to be there. Sometimes I would even turn my car around and head home because I just couldn't go. I would even ask my mom to take me back home when we went grocery shopping because my anxiety of having to interact with people was too high.

I didn't want to risk someone asking me about Disney.

And honestly, that was okay. It made sense.

A lot of the people who are ending their program soon will probably feel this way eventually. And don't let anyone tell you it's a ridiculous way to feel. Honestly, the people who tell you that have never experienced something even slightly similar to what you are feeling. It's like ripping a Band-Aid off that you left on for too long. Your skin is raw, soft and tingly, and it just doesn't feel normal. Eventually, it goes back to how it was before but it needed time to adjust to the different environment and heal.

Something I tell myself and my friends often is: “Feel sad until you're happy again.” Sometimes you need more time than other people, everyone is different so don’t hold yourself to the same standards that others hold themselves to. Take your time to mourn your program, it deserves that.

With that being said, I compiled a list of things you might feel or might happen Post-Disney:

• Home isn’t “home” anymore.
• You'll wake up confused sometimes because the rooms in CP housing are definitely not what your room actually looks like.
• You probably won't want to leave the house for anything at all.
• You don’t have discounts on anything anymore so don't buy that lanyard in the shaddy corner-store near your home.
• Sometimes it will feel like you weren't there and it never happened.
• People will constantly ask you questions about your time there.
• “We don’t talk about it” might become a regular part of your vocabulary.
• You will probably throw everything “Pre-Disney” away when you get back.
• Going to bars or parties is not the same without the internationals.
• Everything will seem to be “boring” after Disney.
• You might get offended when someone says something negative about Disney/Orlando.
• Your eyes will forever be trained to find the hidden Mickeys.
• The lack of safety in places outside of Disney is astonishing; “Safe-D begins with me!”
• You'll miss the idea of “Magical Moments.”
• RIP my one true love, Epcot.
• RIP the best ice cream (French) and the best pizza (Italian).
• Living outside of housing is weird, you'll miss the guards and the gates.
• Not being able to just walk to Walgreens really messes up your daily plans.
• Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays are extra boring without the bus.
• Your life is not the same after Cast Connections.
• You have way too many painted Duffy's and still wish you had more.
• You will forever mourn the C bus.