Relationships. College. They get messy and complicated, especially when you combine the two. What if you were to throw in something like the military? Does that make things even more complicated? This past week my friend and I did some talking about our current relationship with our significant other. Both of us graduated high school and started college in the fall after high school ended. In many ways our relationships are similar, but they are very different. She is dating a boy from home and I am dating an airman.
To many people the military relationship seems like a fairy tale. Like the ones in the movies. Where its filled with sacrifice, romance, and dedication. Everyone pictures the man in uniform fighting for his love that is patiently waiting for him back home. My friends and family think it's precious. I won't disagree that sometimes it feels like a fairy-tale. When he does come home, that first hug at the airport feels like something out of a movie. Even if it's just a few seconds, it's the best couple seconds of the year. Until that moment though, you feel like a sitting duck. Waiting for months on top of months. You have to get used to going to things alone. You never really get used to it, you just adapt. When your friends want to go out on a group date you have to fifth wheel it and smile. When finals come around and they're that one person that calms your nerves better than anyone can't help much because they're on the other side of the world with a 6 hour time difference. Then there's the worry. You worry constantly, even when you don't have to, it's a habit.
The other side of this is the military personal point of view. There's so much you'll want to know about his military lifestyle, his other life. There's so much you want to understand. From the civilian point of view the deployment seems scary but for the ones who signed up for this, get excited and curious. There are many reasons that people join the military. They have a passion for their country and are willing to pay the ultimate sacrifice for the people they love and for complete strangers. It takes someone special to be willing to pack up their stuff and fly off to God knows where and leave everyone they care about behind.
One last thing that needs to be said about military relationships. It's not casual. You're lives together are speed up. There comes stress with long distanced relationships. Its a waiting game that you have to have patients with. Sometimes you have to set alarms for 2 a.m. because that's when they'll be waking up and that's the only time you can talk to them for a while. It's having to get comfortable with sleeping alone because the nights can be long. Finally, there has to be commitment. There doesn't have to be a ring to do this either. It's a commitment to communicate. It's a commitment to be patient and try your best to understand both points. It's a commitment to be each other's rock and be there when the other falls. It's a commitment to the future.
