At some point, we all have that realization. Whether it’s crying alone in your bedroom, being elbow deep in your third pint of triple fudge brownie ice cream, or watching your eighth hour of a cheesy rom-com binge, we stop for a second and think, “Oh. So this is what a broken heart feels like.”

For some it may feel like your heart has been ripped out, stomped on, blended up into a heart-smoothie and then spit out. For me it was a dull ache. The heart is a muscle, don’t forget, and it felt like I had been running it for too long, and too fast. It felt tired.

Every time you think you’re over it, you see a picture of their gross mug on Facebook, or Instagram, or in your dreams, or in that weird-shaped head of broccoli at the grocery store. The hurt comes rushing back. You see pictures of them on social media and they’re wearing that shirt you bought them for Christmas or holding the wallet you bought them for their birthday. You’ll want to know if they think as much about you as you do them.

Honestly, they probably do. If not, they never deserved you in the first place. It’s easy to think about only the good parts of a relationship once that person is gone. I urge you to instead think of all the reasons this person wasn’t right for you. Like, they never listened to your mix CDs, or they didn’t like your family (and told you so), or they insulted your favorite movie, or they wouldn’t hold your hand around their friends. When you find yourself wondering about them again, you’ll think, “Who cares?”

If the heartbreak messed you up enough, this may be difficult to do. Sometimes we just don’t get over people all the way. It shows that our hearts are big enough even for the people who are no longer in our lives. However, sometimes our hearts deserve a rest. Unfriend, unfollow, do whatever you have to do to ease that ache.

We all think we’re stronger than something like heartbreak. No one wants to admit that they’ve ugly cried watching reruns of "Friends" at three in the afternoon imagining that the Ross to their Rachel will come to their senses and beg for them back. Then, around Season 5, we all have another realization: heartbreak is one of the most universal human experiences and Ross was a jerk anyway.

Sometimes, the hurt goes away after a couple of pints of Ben and Jerry’s. Sometimes, it takes three. Eventually, the hurt stops. Your heart no longer feels like it has run a marathon, but it may still be a little sore. Healing will come and you’ll still eat the ice cream, not to drown out the sadness, but because ice cream is a happy food and whoever broke your heart doesn’t get to take that away from you.