I’m not quite sure how it happens, but every so often in life a girl and a guy end up as the very best of friends. More often than not, it is because they grew up together. They probably have a bond that has cultivated over the years into a brother/sister type relationship that is hard for the people outside of it to understand. Sometimes they probably don’t even get it either.
There is a weird stigma as you get older that claims men and women cannot be best friends. People say that it is impossible because the two people will have too much chemistry and tension to remain platonic. If you have a guy as your very best friend then you know that is not necessarily true. Yes, there are the rom-com situations where the best pals fall for each other after years of denying their love, but for you, saying that you have feelings for your male best friend is the equivalent of saying that you have feelings for your female friends.
It is possible for a guy and a girl to be strictly best friends.
I have known my best friend since we were in third grade. Granted, he annoyed the crap out of me for most of our lives, but we eventually got past the awkward and annoying stages of life to where we are today (not that he still doesn’t annoy me, because he does).
However, after ten plus years of friendship there are a few things that I have learned, lost and gained from having a guy best friend.
1. Guys are incredibly laid back.
We all know this to be true, but until you are really immersed in it you don’t fully understand. I’m talking like it can take hours to make a plan because they absolutely do not care what y’all do. It’s not the good, considerate kind of not caring where they are just trying to let you pick something you wanna do. It’s the "I could honestly just lay on this couch all night and eat" kind that sometimes makes you want to punch them. Not to mention that picking restaurants is like pulling teeth. Seriously, just pick.
2. There is no filter.
A very bizarre thing happens after befriending a guy that you probably never expect to. Both of your filters get shot to hell. There is no topic that is off limits, and sometimes you wish there were because you really did not need to know about certain…things…that are forever scarred into your memory. Your male best friend starts to slowly see you as a dude and you do the same to him. You often forget that he is actually a guy and find yourself gossiping to him about the guy you like or showing him the cute outfit you got. In return, he sends you links to fitness videos and shows you the latest hot girl he found on Tinder.
3. You get first hand advice.
A definite pro of having a guy around is that you can go directly to the source for male related questions. You can ask him things that your female friends just do not have the capacity to fully understand. For example, do guys like it when a girl texts them first? According to my sources- yes. Your best friend will tell you things straight up and honestly, regardless of whether or not you really want to know the answer. They also ask you questions and you get to help mold them into a great guy with your expertise on all things female. He might act like a caveman around you, but you can teach him how to be a gentleman for his next girl.
4. People assume that you’re dating.
The most annoying thing in the world is when people assume that y’all are together. You get asked regularly, and people still don’t believe you when you say that there is absolutely nothing going on. If I had a dollar for every time somebody asked me when my best friend and me are going to finally just date, I would be incredibly wealthy. It’s frustrating and something you just have to get used to. Like I said before, some people just don’t get it.
5. You get comfortable.
After a while, y’all both get super comfortable with each other. Your guy best friend has probably seen you at your absolute worst moments and you don’t even care. In fact, you purposely send him the ugliest snapchats you possibly can just because his opinion on how you look means nothing. He has seen your ‘pissed off, screw the world’ attitude. He has seen your ‘depressed because a boy just broke your heart’ mood. He has seen your late night delusional states that end in a lot of binge eating and giggling. He has seen it all and somehow still manages to be your friend, so you continue to say and do whatever you want around him because he’s clearly not going anywhere.
6. You have your own personal mannequin.
A majority of guys do not have the best sense of fashion. It’s just a fact. There are some that can put together a nice outfit, but most of my friends need help. When a guy is your best friend you get the privilege of picking out his clothes. As a fashion major, this is a dream. I get to be a personal stylist for myself and for a man. Granted, most of the time you see him he is probably wearing sweatpants and flip flops. Or maybe that’s just my best friend…
7. Other guys get intimidated.
Other guys typically find it very intimidating when your best friend is a guy. If you have multiple guy best friends it is even worse. Potential male love interests find it odd that you hang out with guys and might even find it slightly threatening to their position in your life. I guess I can understand this, but if they could get into your brain then they wouldn't worry so much about it. However, if a guy hurts you then he better get ready to be beat up because your best friend is just waiting for the day that he can fight someone.
8. You pick up his habits and mannerisms.
Pretty soon you'll find yourself making vulgar comments and joking about things that you didn't find funny before. You might even fist bump when you see a hot girl or joke about doing hard drugs before a night out just so y'all can have a laugh over something ridiculous. You start appreciating the 'boys will be boys' types of behavior because you see both sides of a guy and know that is not how they truly are. You will inevitably start acting a little bit (or a lot a bit) like a guy and you probably won't really care.
9. You'll have a friend for life.
Your male best friend will be your friend for life because there is no drama. Y'all never actually fight besides the occasional days where they just annoy you to no end. You are always down to hang out because you don't have to try to be anything other than who you are. You don't worry about judgement because at this point he is more like family than anything else. You have another brother that you might not have ever wanted, but he is there for you for the long haul. My best friend has even agreed to be my man-of-honor at my wedding one day.
Guys and girls are fundamentally different down to our very souls. We operate in contrastive ways and sometimes do not get along very well. Despite these differences, we are also complimentary to one another. I believe that this is why guys and girls can be best friends.
I am thankful to have guys for best friends. Don't get me wrong, I love all of my female friends. They are wonderful and amazing, but something about having a guy around is refreshing. So to all you girls with a guy for a BFF - count your blessings.
