When I was six years old, I cut myself on the mirror in the JCPenny's dressing room. While I was waiting for my mom to finish trying on clothes, I was trying to entertain myself and fight boredom. I remember absent-mindedly running my fingers along the edges of the mirror, when suddenly, I had a large shard of glass in my finger. I remember crying as the blood dripped, and my mom calming me down and helping me. It was such a relief when the glass was finally purged from my skin.
Ever since then, I have been extremely careful when dealing with mirrors. Every time I clean one, I find myself thinking back to that day when I was six years old, and end up working more cautiously. With each mirror I clean, the scene of glass in my finger and blood dripping out freshly plays out in my mind. It stops me from putting myself in danger again.
I imagine that many people have numerous experiences like this. What if we implemented those experiences in a real situation? Let me explain myself: instead of going back to the thing that has hurt us, or chasing the thing that is hurting us, we stay away from it. How would that affect our lives?
I make daily, stupid decisions, that I've made millions of times. Do I ever seem to learn from them? No, not really. One simple example of this is over-eating when the food is too good to waste. (This happens every time I eat Italian.) This is what I mean.
Let me give you some more examples: studying habits, sleeping habits, communication habits. A more complex thing to consider would be relationships. In all of these circumstances, we often find ourselves repeating the same mistakes. We stay up until 2 AM studying, lose sleep, and the next day isn't as productive as it could've been. We aren't honest with our friends, family, or significant other, and things build up and we eventually have some kind of break down or explosion. We keep going back to the person who tears us apart every time we give them a chance. These things happen more often than we'd like to admit.
We beat ourselves up all of the time, saying things like "but I should've known this time," and "will I never learn?" We feel regretful, we mourn, we scream in frustration, and then we do it again. Why does this happen?
I wish that I had the answers to this. I wish that I could solve every issue with a few sentences jumbled together. But I can't. I do want to offer a bit of encouragement though: you always have a choice. You always have a chance to remember, and make decisions with great consideration. You are allowed to take your time, and you are allowed to say no, even if you've said yes in the past. I feel like most of us have this gut-instinct when we are faced with a significant decision. I feel like most of us are reminded of past experiences. So, what would happen if we actually listened?
When I clean my bathroom mirror, I don't run my fingers along the edge of it after I remember what happened when I was younger. I avoid the area all together.
