I made the decision to start trusting God with my love story when I found myself devastated and depressed from a broken relationship that I thought for sure was headed toward the altar. I would lie in bed at night and cry until I found myself hyperventilating. My sobs became a wailing prayer that catapulted toward heaven and then seemed to hit the ceiling above me, "God do you even hear me?" My perspective on love and relationships was changed one early morning at 3 a.m. on my cold tiled bathroom floor.

Alone and scared I let out that wailing prayer again "God do you even hear me?" but this time I added "God, why does this hurt so bad? Why me? Why now?" After minutes of silence and just tears hitting the floor creating a puddle I heard God speak. His voice shook, and it sounded as if he was just as heartbroken as I was. With a little bit of sternness in his voice he said:

"Why are you always running from my love to someone else? Why is my love not sufficient for you?"

These questions that kept me awake the rest of the night searching for the answers almost made me feel as if I was making God feel like he was some guy I didn't want to go on a date with so I just ignored his texts and calls and never followed up. The reality of it is, this is exactly what I was doing.

During my previous relationship, I ignored Gods voice because I was scared of feeling convicted and scared that he was going to tell me that the person I was with wasn't the one he had for me. I hung up every time God called me when I was in that relationship. I flipped my phone over every time he texted me or showed me any kind of sign that the relationship I was in was toxic from both ends and that it wasn't what he had planned for me.

But, in the midst of sitting in my puddle of tears on a cold bathroom floor, I gave my feelings and emotions to God and told him that I trusted him with whatever and whoever he had wrapped in a bow for me. Not only did I make the decision to trust him but I made the decision to change the way I thought about singleness.

I made the decision to put God first

I made the decision to date God for awhile

I made the decision to stop chasing after my "next relationship" or my "previous one" and start chasing God.

Putting God first

Before you do anything think about this one question "What is your number one priority right now in your life?"

Maybe your first priority is family, maybe it is your best friend, maybe it is your education, maybe it is the sport you play? Your number one priority can be a lot of things. And, your number one priority can also alternate and become something or someone else very quickly. But, if you are that girl or guy right now that is in the stage of getting ready to date someone just know if God isn't the number one priority in your life, if God isn't the one filling you with the love that you are longing for, and if God is sitting on your back burner just know that person will become your number one priority. Slowly, you'll depend on your new significant other to provide you with unconditional love, comfort you, and you and your relationship with the Lord will drift similar to an old ex that you forget all about when you start dating someone new. But, what happens when that person leaves?

Sometimes it takes learning how to be perfectly lonely and OK with being single just so God can show you what being perfectly loved feels like. Never doubt the season he has you in.

If I am being transparent I have only had three serious relationships in my life. Two of them in which I found it easy to get over just by replacing them with someone else. But my most recent being a lot different, leaving me feeling a lot different when it was over made me realize that replacing him wasn't going to be my solution and if it was it was going to have to be with God himself. I knew that I didn't want anyone else's love but my exes and when I finally came to the conclusion that no one else could be him I recognized that the only love that could fill the empty void in my heart, that he left, was Gods love.

When entering a new season of singleness and allowing God to be the center of my life. Allowing God to sit on the throne of my life. And allowing God himself to be the first person I spend time in the mornings and the last person I talk to before bed made me learn a lot about God and what he wanted for me.

It helped me realize that no one is ready to be in a relationship until you've learned how to be happy while single. You can't have an identity or know who you are without first knowing God.

Seeking new relationships every time I got out of one caused an addiction for acceptance from someone who can't replace the void in my heart that was meant for God.

The moment I realized I was sick of getting hurt because my source of love came from someone of this world. The moment I realized that I longed to be accepted by that person and only that person. And the moment I realized that dating someone without having God apart of me and my life was only trying to fill an unfillable void and replace an un-replaceable God was the very moment I made the decision to put God first and allow him to fill that void.

Dating God first

As stated at the beginning of this article I personally felt like God was the boy next door begging for my attention while I was in a relationship. Sending me notes and doing everything he could to win me over. But I didn't budge. I ignored him and continued about my relationship. Only to later realize that my relationship needed God more than anything. In reality, I needed God more than anything.

I realized that I may not like being single due to the loneliness I felt and the heartbreak I was going through but God reassured me that he needed my full undivided attention in this season. He needed my attention so he could mold me, develop me, and prepare me before he gives me someone.

Following my break up I made the decision to give God a chance before I gave anyone else a chance. I knew that if I felt what an unconditional, reckless love felt like that it would engrave in my heart what I deserved and prevent me from settling in my next relationship. The hardest decision I made alongside that one was that I was going to accept no invitation to love someone until I felt as if I loved God first and vowed to myself to keep him first.

This being especially hard when so many worldly opportunities arose when I became "single" that would help me move on. That would give me another shot at loving someone. But it was then that I recognized that God had to be my first love.

Your first love is someone you never forget. Someone that always holds a special place in your heart. Someone that you can't stay mad at for a long period of time because you love them right? I think that the reason most relationships fail, including all of mine is that God isn't that person. There is a reason your first love is your first love. They set a high standard for everyone else. Even if they made a mistake in the relationship there is a reason you fell in love with them.

I believe that in order to start trusting God with our present, previous and future relationships we have to fall in love with him first. We have to let God be our first love and set that standard. We have to know the why of why we are in love with God. We have to know how he makes us feel during our relationship with him and settle for nothing less than that in the future.

A personal story to go along with this is one day this summer I met a friend of mine for coffee. As we sat down a boy came up to us and asked my friend if I was single. My friend, of course, got excited for me that I might actually have the opportunity to be happy again so all giddily she responded: "Heck yeah she is." The boy laughed and then looked as me as I was laughing hysterically at how my friend was more excited for this than I was. He then proceeded to ask her to slip him my number. As a good friend would, she said: "you'll have to ask her!" When he asked for my number I proceeded to tell him that I indeed was NOT single and that I was very happy in the relationship I was in. Immediately he was confused and looked at my friend with a stern face as if she just set him up to be humiliated.

But, she made it known that she was just as confused as he was. He said: "I don't understand your friend said you're single?" I said "well I have been keeping my relationship very private lately" The boy, who was probably disappointed, embarrassed and humiliated stood there awkwardly. He finally uttered out some words and said: "He must be a lucky guy!" and I said, "No, I am the lucky girl." I then proceeded to try and comfort the guy and let him know that physically/worldly and technically I was single. But spiritually, mentally, and emotionally I wasn't because I was dating Jesus for a while. He laughed, looked at my friend, looked back at me, patted my shoulder and said "good for you" and walked away.

One lesson I learned from that experience is that it is important that after you make the decision to fall in love with God first and date him first that it's important to stay faithful to him.

When you are single it is really easy to get impatient with God and get annoyed with trusting him with your happily ever after. Before long you will find yourself chasing what you think is the perfect guy and trying to write your own love story. But, the truth is your best future, your best love story, and your happily ever after won't be found when you are chasing boys or girls. It will only come by first chasing God.

So, run as fast as you can towards God and if someone keeps up that is when you can introduce yourself.