25 Things Twitter Trusts More Than The Tennessee Vols' Coaching Search
Start writing a post
Sports

25 Things Twitter Trusts More Than The Tennessee Vols' Coaching Search

All we want for Christmas is Jon Gruden or Les Miles or Mike Leach or just a coach in general.

73
25 Things Twitter Trusts More Than The Tennessee Vols' Coaching Search
Instagram

Grumors... I think we got him! The plane is in Tampa; he's at Calhoun's with Peyton. Eating and steak and signing contracts.. Let's ride! They're talking to Mullen.. Just kidding.. We ain't crazy bout Norvell. Well maybe he'd be okay. Y'all think Chip Kelly might come? Okay, if we don't get Gruden, Petersen is a homerun.

Source: The search is over. An announcement is planned for the University of Tennessee tomorrow. It's gotta be Gruden! It's Mullen ; I know it's Mullen.

Schiano?!? You have to be kidding me! I' done. Burning my checkerboard overalls. You can keep that gaudy orange. I never liked it anyway. Anybody planning a fall wedding? I'll be there,

We, Vol Twitter, reject the the hire. The hire is off; Schiano is out. Glory to the Lord in the highest. God smiles on the beautiful state on Tennessee. Greg Schiano will not be the head coach of the Tennessee Vols.

Bring the prodigal home. Lane Kiffin, we want you back.We'll buy your Knoxville home back for you. Give me the real estate agent's number. Kiffin has not been contacted. #FireCurrie. Hire Tee Martin. He's got Tennessee ties, good ole boy.

Mike Gundy is speaking with the Vols. I repeat Mike Gundy is speaking with the Vols. Mike Gundy tweets, "Cowboy for Life." I'm so done. Unfollow.

Steele or Brohm? It's so close to happening. "We got Brohm, y'all." Dave Doeren is meeting with Tennessee officials. I promise you if we hire that loser from North Carolina State, I will become an FAU die hard. This is ridiculous. Let me hire the dang coach. Good Lord.

Doehren turned down the offer. I'm back. There is no other force as powerful as Vol Twitter. We run the world.

C'mon down Kevin Sumlin. Mike Leach is on his way. Oh lawd it's happening. Retweet that wedding advice video. Quotes tweet, "He wants the napkins to be orange." I'm all in #VFL. Bless up. No deal was made..

Currie is gone. Let's ride! Phil Fulmer is AD. I don't get this. Currie was just trying to do his job; go after the Haslams. The Browns are 0-11. Nuff said. Currie was one of us.

Phil Fulmer; is the man with the plan. Les Miles might is willing to walk to Tennessee. Let's get this deal.

Wait, the white whale is still alive...

Confused yet? Yeah me too. The Rocky Top coaching search has turned "Days of our Lives." Fear all; trust no one. Here's a list of 25 things that I currently trust more than the Tennessee Vols coaching search.

1. Emails from Hillary Clinton

Hillary Clinton Emails

2. The Guy with 'free candy" on the street corner

Creepy Candy Guy

3. Babysitter's ad on Craigslist: "Good with Kids: Cash Only"

Babysitters Ad Craigslist

4 .Telemarketers

5. "Congratulations! You are our 5,000th visitor; you've just won an all expense paid trip to the Bahamas. Enter your mailing information below."

Bahamas

6. Tap water in Mexico

Tap Water

7. The Ice cream machine at McDonald's


8. Mall Santa's- "You sit on a throne of lies. You smell of beef and cheese."

Buddy the Elf

9. The Internet.

10. Mapco Restrooms off the interstate.

11. Oatmeal raisin cookies disguised as chocolate chip cookies


12. Taxi Drivers in Chinatown

13. Sheets at America's Best Value Inn

14. CNN's reports of the Republican Party

15. Your girlfriend when she says, "Have fun." (Abort the mission; I repeat abort the mission. Do not have fun.)

16. People who smile before 8 am.

17. Girls' Instagram Posts with "No filter" as the the caption. (It's called the 365 app.. you ain't fooling nobody.)

18. Dwight Schrute's beet farm

19. School Lunch Mystery Meat

20. Michael Vick in a pound.

21. "I still love Rihanna." -Chris Brown

22. Bill Clinton in 1998.

23. ISIS with nuclear weapons

24. Wal-Mart. At Night. In Birmingham.

25. As Seen on TV.. Yeah, yeah, yeah..

In all seriousness, good luck to Coach Fulmer as the manhunt of college football continues! All we want for Christmas is a coach, Coach.

Sincerely,

Vol Twitter

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

71033
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

132598
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments