It’s not that hard to understand that trust is everything in a friendship, or any relationship really. Trustworthiness is a quality that I've learned to really value in people. It’s a hard thing to find but when you do, its totally worth it.
I had a friend, who at one point I most definitely called a best friend, that I thought would always be honest with me. I honestly think that is what used to keep us so close, because I thought we told each other everything. At first, she was, but I think a lot of that had to do with the fact that when we started out as friends, we didn't have as many issues or any major problems. Not just with each other, but in life as well. As years went on, our honesty with each other started to change and of course, as you get older you might have to face bigger issues. I’m the type of person that believes that when bigger issues arise, you can't just treat it the same. You have to adapt to the situation, be honest about it, and then proceed to attack it head on. But see, now that's where we had started to differ. If there was a problem or issue with her, she was able to just push it aside and deal with it at a different time. This is what I would call the “sweeping everything under the rug” sort of ordeal. Which does work for some people, but it doesn't really work for me. You see, I can't just sweep all of my problems under a rug and just walk all over it and act like it never happened. I end up seeing it as a road block as something I can't just get over. And I get that some people need to deal with certain problems at their own timing, but what ended up happening in our friendship was a lot of lies and dishonesty. I would ask her a question about something and she couldn't or just wouldn't answer me. The problem was I knew she would tell other people the truth about things what was going on with us but she would never talk to me. I know at first, I definitely tried sweeping a lot of the problems for the sake of her, but I started to get questioned about certain things and scenarios by other friends in our circle, and at that point I wasn't going to allow other people to affect the way I was feeling anymore, so that's why I would push her to talk. Which didn't work. See the thing is, I’m a very confrontational person, so if there is something that needs to be addressed, I have no problem just flat out asking about it. (Being confrontational is both good and bad). The problem was a lack of major trust started to develop and I knew we both knew we were in an awkward place with an unforeseen outcome.
The thing was, some people aren't ready to talk or confront what is happening at the time, and I get that now. But I felt to have some sort of understanding/conclusion for myself was to unfortunately stop calling her my best friend. There are people in my life who I do consider my best friends and I really feel in my heart that they are honest with with and I can trust them completely. It just started to not feel right to put this person in the same category as those others. There is stuff that we still need to talk about, but that's a conversation that can come naturally in her timing because I'm not going to push anymore. (With my confrontational self), and does that mean we’ll never be best friends again?I hope that we will. Nothing would make me happier than to see our friendship bloom back into maybe something that it was once was. But this is just another example showing that friendship really can be in seasons and it's totally okay. You just have to be patient, and if it's meant to be, it'll happen in the time it's supposed to.
