Upon leaving middle school, a wise teacher once told me, “Remember to keep everything in perspective.” I can still see her handwriting on that yellow, star-shaped sticky note to this day. But these words are easier said than done. As a student-athlete, a self-motivator, a and dreamer, I find myself contemplating my purpose more than ever. One of the biggest obstacles that I’ve encountered thus far in all of these aspects of my life is the fear of failure. Today, I want to dive into this topic a bit more, as I think that many young adults can relate, and might need a pick-me-up as we head towards finals week. There are many different ways to look at the fear of failure, and today I want to break it down into its simplest form.
First, failure, like pain, is temporary. You know that saying, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, again?” It’s true. Failure is a one-hit wonder, for one situation at one point in time. Sure, we all fail at many times in our lives, but the extent to which we truly fail in the same exact situation multiple times is limited, if we think about it. Keeping this in perspective is important if we don’t want our failures to pile up. We learn from our failures, and our progress as individuals would be greatly hindered if all we did was succeed.
I also find that acknowledging my failures have been crucial to my success and development as an individual. It is not enough to just experience these failures, but to recognize and identify these instances that really makes the difference. Once we understand what occurred, and why we reacted the way we did in a certain situation, we can begin to move forward. I find that this cognitive component is crucial; being able to process what went wrong and how I can improve is something that I am still learning.
But disclaimer: don’t be like me and overthink! Sometimes, just like our bodies, we need to give our minds a rest. Many of the uncomfortable situations I have been in have been because I overthink and overanalyze. Simplify and breathe. We’ve earned our chance to be where we are through hard work and perseverance, and even though we may not show our best stuff, the spotlight will always be there. Trusting myself and my own inner confidence has helped me in many aspects of my life, such as golf.
I guess I find the term ‘failure’ quite unfortunate. Of course we need a term to describe our own mistakes and what happens when something goes wrong. But the word itself is quite imprecise. “My life’s a failure” versus “That latte was a failure” have much different connotations. In the end, I don’t know if failure, as our society decides to define it, is helping us at all. I believe what we truly fear is fear itself. But to spread our wings and fly, we must be able to embrace the world with open arms and not be afraid. Trust the process, and keep everything in perspective.
