How the Trump Ruined Christmas | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Politics

How the Trump Ruined Christmas

An original by me

39
How the Trump Ruined Christmas
Google

Every American in America liked Christmas a lot...

But the Trump who lived in New York City, did not.

The Trump hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season! Now please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason. It could be because his hair was screwed on too tight. It could be because he couldn't tie a tie with all his might. But I think that the most likely reason of all was that his brain was ten sizes too small.

But, whatever the reason, his hair or his tie, he stood there on Christmas Eve, hating Americans. Staring down from his tower, with a sour Trumpy frown, at the warm-lighted windows below in New York. For he knew every man, woman, and child, was busy, hanging christmas decorations.

"And they're hanging stockings?!" He snarled, with a sneer. "Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!" Then he growled, his fat fingers were drumming. "I must find a way to stop Christmas from coming!"

For, tomorrow, he knew...

All the American girls and boys, would wake up early and rush for their toys. And then, oh the noise! The noise! Noise! Noise! The Mexican girls and boys! Boys! Boys! Boys! Boys!

Then the Americans, young and old, would sit down to feast. And they'd feast, and they'd feast, and feast, feast, feast, feast! They would feast on dumplings, and rare kosher beast. Which the Trump couldn't stand at all, in the least!

And then, they'd do something he liked least of all. The Americans would come, the tall and the small. They would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing. They'd stand, proud and tall, and they would start singing!

They'd sing, and they'd sing, and they'd sing, sing, sing, sing! And the more the Trump thought of this whole Christmas thing, the more that he thought he must stop this whole thing. "Why for seventy years, I've put up with it now. I must stop Christmas from coming, but how?"

Then he got an idea. The Trump got a wonderfully awful idea! "I know just what to do!" The Trump laughed with an accent. "I guess I'll just have to run for President! What a great Trumpy trick. With a tie and a pin, I'll look just like Obama! All I need is a VP." The Trump looked around, but since VP's were scare, there were none to be found. Did that stop old Trump? No! The Trump simply said, "If I can't find a VP, I'll make one instead!" So he called his pal Mike, and he took a red tie, and he made Mike wear it, both far and nye.

THEN, he donated money, and kissed some babies, in a ramshackle campaign, and he called upon Hades. The Trump said "Giddap!" and the campaign started down, toward the Americans sleeping, all night in their town.

He was not taken seriously, to begin the race. He had to make it through the primaries, without losing much face. He dispatched Ben Carson, Rubio, and Cruz. He won enough votes, and started to booze. He was the Republican nominee!

Now the real test began, he would have to face Hillary. He broke out all the stops, he fired up all the artillery. They had three debates, they said he lost all. HE fought many scandals, both small and tall. He had sexual assault suits, piling up at his door. He was losing ground, and much much more.

He was never completely of it, however, to our surprise. He kept finding ways, to push Hillary to her demise. The emails, Benghazi, and all her lies. He brought up over and over, and shoved them in our eyes. It was easy for him, to paint her as distrustful. This says a lot about her, but how he was disgustful.

Election day came, this was his chance! The Trump could ruin Christmas, and then he could dance. He wanted nothing more, than to hear silence on Christmas day. He fought and he fought, and he never lost his way.

Election day came, and it turned into night. The Trump took the Electoral College, and America could not believe their sight! He had won!

Christmas was ruined.

The end.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

The 5 Painfully True Stages Of Camping Out At The Library

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

279
woman reading a book while sitting on black leather 3-seat couch
Photo by Seven Shooter on Unsplash

And so it begins.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

Camping out at the library is not for the faint of heart. You need to go in as a warrior. You usually have brought supplies (laptop, chargers, and textbooks) and sustenance (water, snacks, and blanket/sweatpants) since the battle will be for an undetermined length of time. Perhaps it is one assignment or perhaps it's four. You are motivated and prepared; you don’t doubt the assignment(s) will take time, but you know it couldn’t be that long.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

The 14 Stages Of The Last Week Of Class

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

327
black marker on notebook

December... it's full of finals, due dates, Mariah Carey, and the holidays. It's the worst time of the year, but the best because after finals, you get to not think about classes for a month and catch up on all the sleep you lost throughout the semester. But what's worse than finals week is the last week of classes, when all the due dates you've put off can no longer be put off anymore.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

28 Daily Thoughts of College Students

"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

981
group of people sitting on bench near trees duting daytime

I know every college student has daily thoughts throughout their day. Whether you're walking on campus or attending class, we always have thoughts running a mile a minute through our heads. We may be wondering why we even showed up to class because we'd rather be sleeping, or when the professor announces that we have a test and you have an immediate panic attack.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

The Great Christmas Movie Debate

"A Christmas Story" is the star on top of the tree.

2258
The Great Christmas Movie Debate
Mental Floss

One staple of the Christmas season is sitting around the television watching a Christmas movie with family and friends. But of the seemingly hundreds of movies, which one is the star on the tree? Some share stories of Santa to children ("Santa Claus Is Coming to Town"), others want to spread the Christmas joy to adults ("It's a Wonderful Life"), and a select few are made to get laughs ("Elf"). All good movies, but merely ornaments on the Christmas tree of the best movies. What tops the tree is a movie that bridges the gap between these three movies, and makes it a great watch for anyone who chooses to watch it. Enter the timeless Christmas classic, "A Christmas Story." Created in 1983, this movie holds the tradition of capturing both young and old eyes for 24 straight hours on its Christmas Day marathon. It gets the most coverage out of all holiday movies, but the sheer amount of times it's on television does not make it the greatest. Why is it,
then? A Christmas Story does not try to tell the tale of a Christmas miracle or use Christmas magic to move the story. What it does do though is tell the real story of Christmas. It is relatable and brings out the unmatched excitement of children on Christmas in everyone who watches. Every one becomes a child again when they watch "A Christmas Story."

Keep Reading...Show less
student thinking about finals in library
StableDiffusion

As this semester wraps up, students can’t help but be stressed about finals. After all, our GPAs depends on these grades! What student isn’t worrying about their finals right now? It’s “goodbye social life, hello library” time from now until the end of finals week.

1. Finals are weeks away, I’m sure I’ll be ready for them when they come.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments