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I'm not ready for love, and that's okay

No I don't want a significant other and it's okay if you don't want one either.

Sep 27, 2018

As you start to get older, you realize how often you are asked, "so do you have a boyfriend/ girlfriend?" which for me is a dreaded question I personally try to avoid at all costs. One time I got asked it during a Christmas party and I thought shoving an entire piece of very dry bread would do the trick. Unfortunately, even after my near death choking experience my very intrusive family member still asked, "so no boyfriend to spend Christmas with?"

Now I totally get it. Being 21, and never having a serious relationship is unheard of. To answer my family's burning questions: "Yes I have a social life that involves being around males... No I don't want a boyfriend.... Can you pass the potatoes? Thanks." Pretty sure this happens to more than just me, and honestly it doesn't have to come from your family. As a society, we are told the perfect man would appear right in front of us, and make all of our dreams come true. Although, I still hope that happens for me and you, it isn't very realistic.

The reason WHY it isn't realistic for me is because I personally am not willing to open up to pretty much anyone unless I feel they are worth it. I have a lot of things that made me who I am today, that I'm not willing to share unless i absolutely think you are the person I am going to marry. Many of those things I still carry with me and honestly do make it harder to love another person completely and I'm okay with that. Weirdly as it is, I think i will know the right moment I am willing to let someone break down the barrier I may have that hold my personal stories in.

With that being said, I hope you read this and maybe consider the same. You may find yourself in a relationship that you can't be 100%, or that you are in just to fill a void of loneliness or peer acceptance. You are the one who makes the decision whether you are able to love another person, and if you aren't there yet it's totally okay.

Now clearly i do not know the future, and do not know when or how you or I will meet the love of our lives. Even if the time never comes or it does, at least I can say I was able to give that person my entire self, maybe a little cracked in some places, but 100% authentic.

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I'm not ready for love, and that's okay

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In This Article:

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We don't buy into these... just like how we don't buy our friends.

8. "The whole philanthropy thing isn't real, right?"

7. "I don't need to buy my friends."

6. "Oh, so I'll bet you love to drink."

5. "Can you tell me some of your secrets?"

4. "What do you do at your meetings?"

3. "Do you guys haze really badly?"

2. "Is it just like in the movies?"

1. "Sororities are so basic."

There are plenty of obstacles that come when taking care of kids, but it's a very rewarding experience.

1. You get excited when the parents purchase season passes to the pool.

2. You've become friends with the stay-at-home moms in town.

3. You get a chance to eat "kid foods" again.

4. You've traded in your cute purse for a large tote bag.

5. You have at least one car seat in your backseat.

6. Their nap time is your happy time.

7. Lunch time can be a disaster.

8. You have to play the same board games repeatedly.

9. You catch yourself using the same lines your parents once told you.

10. Your "mom-mode" kicks in at times.

11. Your heart melts a little when they do something cute.

You'll never find any souvenirs with your name on it

1. You know you are up next when the teacher pauses while taking attendance

2. When “I’m going to do my very best to make sure I know all your names” is said, it may or may be an empty promise

3. “Wow! That sounds so cool! Where is your family from?”

4. You dread when people ask you to repeat your name over and over because it “sounds so cool when you say it”

5. There’s a 50/50 chance that your name will come back either correct or incorrect at Starbucks

6. People try to find shorter, easier nicknames for you instead of calling you by your actual name

7. When someone famous or fictional character shares your name, you get so happy

8. “What’s your name?” “It’s [name]” “I’m sorry, what was it again?”

9. You’ve pretty much seen every misspelling and heard every mispronunciation of your name throughout your life

10. When you find another person with an “ethnic” sounding name, you both get excited

11. Despite the struggles, your name is pretty unique… just like you

Can I be excused for the rest of my life?

Don't Be That Person

1. “Oh, so you/your family are immigrants!”

2. “Is Puerto Rico near Mexico?”

3. “Do you speak Puerto Rican?”

4. “You look too light/dark to be Puerto Rican.”

5. “Do I need my passport to go to Puerto Rico?”

6. “Geez, you are obsessed with your flag. We get it, you’re Puerto Rican.”

7. “Why are you so loud?”

8. “So does your family know English?”

9. “Oh my god, Puerto Ricans are so spicy.”

10. “So did you eat a lot of tacos?”

11. “Are you Mexican?”

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