At about the time when a girl starts high school, there becomes this public “standard” to be popular, be friends with everyone, date the hottest guys, host the best parties, etc. Especially with the entrance of each new class, this “standard” becomes a way of life for young high school girls, and every girl is guilty of succumbing to this “standard” at some point in their life whether they admit it or not. That’s just the truth. We get jealous, we get angry, and we try to get our way. We are focused more on when the guy will text us first instead of learning in class and being involved with our education, or more on making fun of a “nerdy” girl’s outfit in the hallway instead of catching up with an important teacher or coach.

Stereotypes and the importance of popularity during these years are at their peak, and most girls lose themselves before they find themselves.

Luckily for me, my high school experience was not the constant catfighting, hair-wrenching, love vs. war way that I’ve heard so many have endured. Although there were, of course, ups and downs, and good and bad.

At about the time a girl becomes a junior in high school, she begins to mature more as a woman. We learn more about what life is about, the things that really matter, what our future entails, and the things that are worth fighting for. I realized this when I was about a junior in high school when someone told me, “If it’s not going to matter in five minutes, five months, or five years, don’t worry about it.”

Now, we’ve all heard this saying, and I know from personal experience that it can be extremely difficult to train your mind to think in this way, but this really resonated with my teen self and was something I was able to keep with me and hold on to. I even incorporate into my life now.

This saying really has a powerful, deep meaning. If the guy you’re stressing about isn’t going to be important in your life in the next five months, or years, stop stressing. If the girl-fight you got into at lunch is going to permanently affect the relationship you have with your best friend, do something about it. If not receiving the homecoming nomination will affect your future, which it won’t, don’t get upset about it. Use this guide to help you determine what’s important and what’s not. Although this is not an easy guide to live by and is especially challenging for any teenage girl that is affected by outside influences.

If you work at it every day you will see a significant breakthrough in your life. I promise you there are bigger things in life than who had the best sweet sixteen party, who had the hottest prom date, or who got voted for homecoming queen. These stereotypical titles don’t define who you are as a person or what you stand for. They define high school society’s “standards”, which when you think about, wouldn’t be a title you would probably want to have anyway.

By using this guide, I was able to eliminate the insignificant people and things in my life. I was able to leave high school proud of the girl I had become. I was able to learn that a few true friends in life are better than a larger group of fake friends any day. When you surround yourself with genuine people who make you happy, you begin to realize these things, and you become an improved individual because of it.

So whether your true friend is a sibling, a mom, a boy, or even a grandparent, and whether it’s your junior year in high school like it was for me, or not until your first semester of college, when you find the true people in your life, never let them go. When you find your true friends, you won’t have to ask yourself if they will be worth it in five years because you’ll already know the answer. Fight for these people, and never stop fighting.

When you find your true friends, you’ll become the best version of yourself. Because unlike the superficial label of most popular, princess, hottest, or best couple, the title of being a true friend is something that will last forever. When you find the people who helped you find yourself, hold onto them for the rest of your life, because they are worth more than you will probably ever realize.