As young girls, we are taught what love is supposed to look like. We watch Noah Calhoun from "The Notebook" and Jack Dawson from "Titanic" and we are taught that in order to feel loved we need flowers, ultimate professes of love, and undying romance. We are taught to assume that if the mate we meet isn't the stereotypical lover from a rom-com movie that we just aren't really in love and that the relationship will never really be successful.
This, however, just simply isn't true. If you find someone that isn't the person from a rom-com, hang on to them, for this person is looking for true love, as we all should. I ask you to think about all of the relationships that you know have lost those romance movie's actions after a time. Now I ask you how many of those have failed? Why is that? Wasn't it true love? No. The couple was in love and, yes, that is completely different from true love. True love is what is there after the "in love" fades because, in reality, it does. If you believe that love is the characteristic's form of a "chick flick" then it undoubtedly fades, and that causes the heartbreaking breakup everyone goes through. Being in love is wanting to be with someone all the time, not feeling complete without them, and going out on cute romantic dates. This, however, does not mean that you love someone. This means you are infatuated with someone.
Infatuated means that you are inspired with an intense, but short-lived, passion or admiration for another. Everyone is confusing love with infatuation, leading to heartbreaks and the belief that true love no longer exists. In the Army they have a saying, "'Til the very end;" this, however, can be hard to understand. How do you know when the very end is? Well, you don't. You may ask, "Well, then how do you know that you can go to the very end?"
You know that you can go to the very end for something because you just have that much faith in one thing that no matter what may come, you are willing to endure it all. True love is knowing that the person could do no wrong, that you don't want to try and overcome, because mistakes will happen, but they will never out-do the good you see in that person. It's understanding that people will mess up sometimes but also truthfully be okay with it and not run. It's finding someone that can do that one little thing that you haven't forgiven anyone else for, but wanting to for once forgive someone for. Wanting to ensure that this other person is happy, because their happiness is truly more important than yours is. It's wanting to prove to the other person that they are what you see in them because you see the perfect in the imperfections when all they see is imperfect. It's wanting to stay when it gets tough. It's understanding that you two, in fact, do not need to be with one another every waking moment. It's having a best friend that you get to love. It's understanding, in general, and the wanting to be understanding. It's finding that person that you can be real with and have them be real with you.
These characteristics can be in a relationship without the romance movie stereotypes of love. I, personally, no longer want a man to buy me flowers to show me appreciates me; that to me isn't a form of appreciation. Not to imply that it is wrong to do so, it's just also not wrong to not be that person. Don't search at all for it, for it will happen when it is planned to, but stop searching for Noah or Jack because they found true love with Ali and Rose. Go be yourself and watch your true love trickle down to you. Because it, in fact, exists. I know.
