I have always been the oldest of my family; physically and mentally. I am the first born, oldest of my cousins and I have definitely always acted and been treated in that way. I was the first to get questions about college, rumours amongst my aunts and grandmothers circled at Thanksgiving gathers about if I "had become a woman yet," and of course the age-old question of "when I was going to bring a young man home" was always pushed. I remember being so embarrassed and hating life because I was the first one to experience all of this and none of my cousins or siblings understood... but lately I find myself wanting all of that back. Truth is, I am having a quarter-life crisis.
I know all you old timers reading this are probably chuckling to yourself and thinking, "Girl, you don't know the half of it," but being the oldest in my family, I can't help but feel an urgency that time is running low.
I am about to start my junior year of college, the "serious" year, if you will, and I am quickly approaching 21. The year Corey Smith sings about and it seems that every college kid is desperately trying to get to. Well, the fact is, its about to be 2017 and I haven't even completed my list for 2016 nor have I gotten out of the habit of changing my accidental five to sixes when I date things.
I write about this topic because I know I can't be the only girl out there feeling this. In fact I know I'm not. Specifically in the world we live in today, there is always someone out there better, smarter and prettier than you, so much so that it feels like living ones full potential will never prevail. I just got back from Rome, Italy and saw through my social media outlets that almost every friend I had was also doing the same -- fortunate enough to travel the world, visiting places that mostly take reign on bucket lists. After feeling jealousy, anxiousness and even guilt, I came out on the other side with the notion to live life in the present. This is the solution I found to the feeling that time is running out -- living in the moment -- as cliché and simple as it is. Here are some other tips and points I found that make a quarter life crisis feel less like a crisis after all.
1. Pick small tasks and don't be scared of starting small
Rome wasn't built in a day, the best way to feel like you are accomplishing something is to simply start.
2. Never apologize for your feelings
People can and will say what they want. Apologizing for a genuine feeling is lying to yourself and your peers. It's just backwards.
3. Live in every minute of college experience, the good and the bad.
If it is a Wednesday night and you're contemplating going out -- just go. On the flip side, your probably going to be hungover in the morning or maybe not work out, don't let that be the death of you, try your best not to dwell.
4. Just because it's the next chapter doesn't mean it's a bad one
I was so upset seeing my baby brother grow up. He is now 12, but I use to tell my friends he was 9, because in my eyes he still was. Then I realized that just because he isn't a kid anymore doesn't mean we will have any less of a connection. Same with looking at college, I never want it to end but I also have a great years of weddings and baby showers in my future. Life prepares you for every "next step."
4. Surround yourself with the people you love.
For a while in my life, I somewhat forgot about my cousins, aunts and uncles, specifically because I was so focused on myself -- what I wanted, what I thought was right, what I could benefit -- but that isn't how happiness is achieved. Go to family dinners even if there is a party that night, be with the people who truly love you.
5. There is always room to grow
We grow up thinking we have everything figured out, I know I did. I thought I knew what I was doing, but in retrospect I have grown up so much in the past month, more than I ever realized I needed. Life surprises you like that.
6. Let people in: it is so important to let down your walls and a huge way of maturing
Letting people know what you are feeling and thinking is the strongest road to take, even if you get hurt along the way.
7. Be proud of yourself
Hello, you're just doing the best you can and sometimes that's enough.
