At the beginning of college, every student is excited to come home. With home-cooked meals, no classes to deal with, and a dog that will give you unlimited attention, how could you not want to come home?

Well for me, I'm a little confused. I have fallen in love with where I go to school and the little house I live in with my best friend. Because I go to school so far away, people always say to me, "You must not get to come home much. Do you miss your family while you're at school?" And to be honest with you, the people I live with and the friends I have made there have turned into family. So while I'm home for the holidays, I tend to miss them like I would miss a blood relative.

But I think the hardest part about coming home, at least for me, are the memories of the people that aren't around anymore. For example, I came home two summers ago and unexpectedly fell in love. And for about a year, every time I came home, I saw him. When I thought about home, I thought about him. He was a piece of my home.

But like some other people from my hometown, he's not a part of my life anymore. And this is the first time I've been home and not seen him. It bothers me to know that he's here. He's here somewhere, within five miles of me. But I won't be spending every day at his house or having conversations with his mom or playing with his dog.

I know that without a doubt, I truly am better off without him. That's not the difficult part. The hard part is the anxiety that comes with just knowing he's around, but you won't see him. In addition, how do I take that person out of the puzzle that makes up my idea of "home?"

Moving on, let's not forget about the unwanted high school reunions that come with going to your hometown coffee shop or H-E-B or the mall. It's annoying to have to put on real clothes (forget the sweats) and makeup to go anywhere around here. After almost 3 years of college, you want the people you graduated high school with to think that you have your life together and that you'll be a successful adult soon. It may or may not be true, but you want to at least give off the impression that you've been doing something right since leaving the suburbs.

Lastly, don't think that I'm putting down where I came from. I'll always be thankful for my roots. But I am even more thankful to have two homes. I have two places where I belong and two places where I am undeniably loved and comfortable.