After many moons of grumbling at how stupid people are in various zombie flicks, I have decided to compile a list of reasons why a zombie apocalypse wouldn't be that bad. (I also grew bored of writing serious articles.) This assumes the stereotype of a shambling zombie that can only die by brain trauma and that infects through bites.

Speed

Zombies shamble. People walk. Obesity is an epidemic, but even the most unfit person should still be able to walk away at a leisurely pace and still gain enough ground to take shelter. Mild jogging would see you extremely far away from the undead hordes and that's if society totally broke down and there were no cars. (Protip: It wouldn't.) The only circumstance in which the "just walk away" strategy wouldn't work is if you found yourself surrounded, which brings me to my next point.

This guy knows.

Armor

Now, you might be thinking about chainmail or a big suit of plate armor, but against teeth and ragged bone, there are plenty more option that would work. The real point would be to think, "Could I chew through this?" Biker leathers, welding aprons, paintball gear, winter clothing, and a myriad of other things cannot be chewed through with any sort of ease. Just put on some clothes and you would be fine if the zombies even got that close.

Why is everyone on this show wearing a tank-top? It's one of the worst choices that you could make, especially when you could loot literally any store.

Weapons

In the United States, there are roughly enough firearms for every man, woman, and child to have at least one. There would be even more than that if enough people got killed. Given that people don't like to share, you might also assume that no one even knows how to operate a firearm and the military doesn't exist. Almost anything could be used to crack a rotted, sun-bleached skull. Baseball Bats are everywhere. Pipes are everywhere. Tools are everywhere. We literally stand on a giant, crumbling rock. Any number of things could be used. You could arm an entire town from a home improvement store, but we really do have guns.

Terrain

In the city, the undead would, initially, have a mild advantage. However, given the proximity of buildings, it would be an easy feat to contain them to portions of a city. The country is a much different matter. There are fences for cattle everywhere in almost every rural area. The already slow zombie couldn't walk 1000 yards without running into a fence that would ensnare it. Zombies couldn't move in the forest either. Tripping over roots and rocks while being tangled in autumn olives and rose briars would almost assuredly stop a zombie.

Zombie Weakness

Let's assume that all the zombies are around 180-pound people. Your body is composed of mostly water, which they would lose rapidly from constant walking and exposure to the elements. Hair and flesh would also come off as decomposition continued. This leaves you with a brittle 100-pound corpse to deal with. Not everyone is cut out for fighting, but even the weakest adult could shove away something that size that already has poor coordination.

Human Intelligence

After watching zombie flicks for forever, this is probably the one that I question most. Prehistoric man outsmarted animals of greater capability on a regular basis. Trip wires, pitfalls, moats, caltrops, jackrocks, bear traps, and a thousand other things could be used to eliminate or avoid the undead. That is, provided that we don't do a stupid and kill each other more than the zombies do. (That means you, Neegan.)

We all know why Carl is here.