How do I forget, when everything is a reminder?
After all, I can’t stop breathing, hearing, seeing, or feeling
So I am a prisoner of my thoughts, and myself
I am completely vulnerable, and at any moment in time
In a constant battle with my mind, senses and emotions
A virtual infinite target of my own demons
Songs, foods, images, smells, situations, or words
that may have no significant meaning to others
Can instantly summon horrifying images to me
Of things that I have seen, things that I’ve endured
With the slightest scent of newsprint
I am a little girl in a familiar scary place
chaotic and cluttered, filthy and hazardous
surrounded by newspaper towers the length of the wall
I am passionate of all things music, and will sing every note
Until a particular song happens to come on
Suddenly I am engulfed in sorrow
feeling trapped and terrified
and I’m the target of relentless mental torture
These are two examples out of hundreds that I live with
and sometimes it is so hard to cope
No matter how hard I try or how badly I want to
It is something I cannot control
I refuse to hide, and I'm tired of being afraid
The following is an informational segment on the many aspects of trauma related triggers. It gives examples of common triggers for every sense.
http://psychcentral.com/lib/what-is-a-trigger/
Often someone who resembles the abuser or who has similar traits or objects (ie. clothing, hair color, distinctive walk).
Any situation where someone else is being abused (ie. anything from a raised eyebrow and verbal comment to actual physical abuse).
The object that was used to abuse
The objects that are associated with or were common in the household where the abuse took place (ie. alcohol, piece of furniture, time of year).
Any place or situation where the abuse took place (ie. specific locations in a house, holidays, family events, social settings).
Sound
Anything that sounds like anger (ie. raised voices, arguments, bangs and thumps, something breaking).
Anything that sounds like pain or fear (ie. crying, whispering, screaming).
Anything that might have been in the place or situation prior to, during, or after the abuse or reminds her/him of the abuse (ie. sirens, foghorns, music, cricket, chirping, car door closing).
Anything that resembles sounds that the abuser made (ie. whistling, footsteps, pop of can opening, tone of voice).
Words of abuse (ie. cursing, labels, put-downs, specific words used).
Smell
Anything that resembles the smell of the abuser (ie. tobacco, alcohol, drugs, after shave, perfume).
Any smells that resemble the place or situation where the abuse occurred (ie. food cooking ,wood, odors, alcohol).
Touch
Anything that resembles the abuse or things that occurred prior to or after the abuse (ie. certain physical touch, someone standing too close, petting an animal, the way someone approaches you).
Taste
Anything that is related to the abuse, prior to the abuse or after the abuse (ie. certain foods, alcohol, tobacco).
