Let me begin by noting this is not going to end well, no matter how I look at it.
So, here goes everything: It was a means of escape. While it started out as being an experiment for someone else, it began to take on the means I mentioned before.
It was weird to be complimented for my beauty because the only compliments I ever wanted were for my skills, whether it was writing, academic ability, my work life or athleticism. I always figured beauty came with the territory, but to hear it from someone who I thought was somehow interesting? Now that was a previously uncharted territory for this sailor.
I won't lie about the fun I have had. I do not regret any of the dates I went on or the minutes I would spend aimlessly flirting with other guys. There were as many moments that I would rather never repeat again, as there were moments that I gained more confidence. I'm still trying to decide exactly what I want, but I think for the time I did have Tinder, it was not a complete waste of time. It was simply harmless with a few benefits here and there.
Above all else, however, you can't put lipstick on a pig, because no matter how you see it there is one big elephant in the room. Would someone you find attractive actually consider talking to you? Or, do they see themselves hooking up or going on a date with you, no matter if you do? Heck, even if there was a match would you ever get around to actually talking?
It would get to a point when everyone sounded the exact same asking about my sport, starting with a pick-up line, or using a sex joke as a pick-up line (some people didn't even try to be subtle). Before long, I was wondering if I was actually talking to a person or if I was listening to a broken record.
By the end of my "trial period", I couldn't help but just want validation of how I looked or if someone would like me in a romantic fashion. Which now that I have had time to truly think this over, I can see how this makes me no better of a person.
So when the end of my trial finally came, I had decided that, while there was much fun to be had, it gets old after a while. And after a while you begin to question if that same sort of fun was meant to be fleeting all along or if it was time to move on regardless.
Now this doesn't mean I will never use it again, but it does mean I will be happy to be on hiatus for a time. Perhaps I will learn more about myself like I had when I did use it, perhaps not.
In conclusion, if you have found out more about yourself and what you want out of it, that's fine. If you have not found out more about yourself and what you want, that is also fine. No one will judge you if you have taken either route. The only other thing I will say is this: if you don't consider it a waste of time, then it will not be a waste of time. If you do, then does that really put you in a position to judge the people who have not?
So come on, pick a side to swipe to all ready! What have you got to lose?
