Obviously I am always winning…

Ever since that utterly sexy scene between Ana and Christian in the new Fifty Shades movie, Ben Wa balls have been getting a lot of attention. However, they aren't exactly new in the world of sex toys, Ben Wa balls (aka Kegel Balls) have actually been around for quite some time.

Ben Wa balls are not necessarily a full blown sex toy—meaning, they won't exactly bring you to climax by themselves (although, you'll definitely be feeling some type of way while they're in). They're more meant for strengthening and tightening a women's pelvic floor and vaginal muscles. This is obviously awesome because that makes for much, much better playtime—you also wear them during playtime to give your partner that little extra somethin' somethin'. There are many different types, shapes, and sizes of Ben Wa balls: some vibrate (yas), others are attached to a string for easier removal, and there are even magnetic ones that cling together while they're inside you. They come in a myriad of sizes with the option of adjustable weights that you can work your way up too.

When I started researching the many types of balls, I opted for the more ballsy (haha, see what I did there?) option and decided on an unattached set of rose gold beginner weighted balls. I was of course a little worried about removal because they say that they aren't always easy to get out, but if you do struggle, not to panic because they obviously aren't going to get lost.

My new toy arrived and I immediately was ready to test them out, so I listened to the directions and inserted them while lying down and proceeded to slowly stand up—I felt the balls glide down and squeezed (like I was holding in pee), and wow, Ana's face in the movie definitely described by instant reaction. I was very, very appreciative of the subtle yet tantalizing feeling that was taking place in mah pants and disregarded the “fifteen minute beginner rule." It is suggested that beginners wear the balls for fifteen-minute intervals to get your vaginal muscles used to the consistent squeezing—L O L, the showoff that I am decided “I got this" and could handle wearing them for an entire day.

When I sat down in my car, my body instantly said, “Good morning from your vagina," and I had a whole new appreciation for sitting down—which is usually a physical activity that requires little to no effort. Every time I sat down, the combination of the balls hitting my pelvic floor and the squeezing sent little tingles throughout my body—Christian Grey was seriously onto something with his teasing Ana escapades.

I was obviously having such a fabulous, full-of-happy-vibes day until my close friend had an unexpected emergency that needed medical attention, which of course included me escorting her to the hospital. LOL at my life, and hers (got you girl).

So, it goes without saying that I am more focused on my friend and what she needs rather than what was going on in my pants—which of course, I had completely forgotten about due to all of the commotion. My lovely friend is laying on a stretcher in the emergency department, crying in pain, and I am standing next to her doing my best to ease her pain… I obviously did a good job to some extent because in that moment I remembered that me, the gem of a human that I am, inserted two weighted balls into my vagina and my face dropped. Once my face dropped, hers did as well as our other friend who was also with us, both of them of course got the 411 that morning of the little game I was playing with myself that day (l o l, I guess that can be taken two ways?) The three of us immediately started laughing at my vagina situation… and even more so when I forgot to squeeze during my laughing fit and one fell out into my underwear. HATE MY LIFE.Yes, I penguin-walked myself through the emergency department - while the two of them are dying of laughter - to the nearest restroom to “handle" my um, situation.

Despite the unexpected events that took place, I'd say my first Ben Wa balls experience was, yes—not at all as sexy as Ana's was in Fifty Shades, but definitely hysterical, bizarre, and full of ALL the right feelings (ayeee).