On the night of April 12th, I came into a room of three people that likely made the biggest difference in my life before I approached the age of 20. No, it was not a pretty site at all. It was a time to help somebody, but it was profane, passionate and sometimes belligerent. But it was an eye-opener; it was tough love; it was like these folks were playing "football coach" on me. And by all means, I left with a better sense of self-hope and ambition when all was said and done. I never spoke down on myself ever again. Mike, Mikey and Thomas then set aside the next 20 minutes of their own time to encourage that I make some changes and start turning my life around. Here is what they told me:
1. “Fix your own problems!”
It may seem cruel, but it's legit. Because you are at a point in your life where you cannot leave your battles around for others to fight. And I have learned this the hard way. By all means though, seek assistance. Ask questions. But in this day and age, emerging 20-somethings are supposed to have a general understand on how to go about life in such a manner. And it seemed even more realistic with these guys yelling at the top of their lungs but passionately telling me that they have never put their hearts in so much for somebody before. It was great but so surreal.
2. “Don’t care about what other people think!”
I was told that by a close friend that you could count your close friends and still have fingers left over. In other words, separate yourself from the individuals who are not taking the necessary approaches to have a relationship with you. There is no need for further explanation.
3. “Do you know what commitment is?”
In one example, the boys told me that they were out running and somebody shouted at one of them, "Keep on running fatty!" And you know what? He did. In fact, he ran faster. Because he was committed to becoming a better runner and committed to getting in better shape. Meanwhile, those folks were in a car going to grab food. Though this is not a bad thing, it comes to show that letting derogatory pessimism get in the way of somebody's lifestyle is a surefire way to set themselves up for failure.
4. “You have no idea how much we all have been through!”
Then I was told that anybody who says their life has been perfect has no idea. And it's practically legit, because hard times are a part of life! Just between the four us, it had felt like all four of us have been through enough to provide guidance to an even larger group that might not have been through as much. Just take into consideration that you could be on the city streets with a sibling and suddenly somebody decides to take his (or her) life. How heartbreaking would that be? It's not easy, but sometimes there are different levels of "hard" for many people.
5. “If life hits you in the face, hit it back even harder!”
This involves a mixture of commitment and fixing things on your own because life happens to everybody, and when you let it get the best of you, it's going to end up getting the best of you. So, without being belligerent and actually "hitting" open air, remain calm and take the necessary steps to figure out what's going on. You can't go through life expecting things to happen with a finger snap or a prayer. One might help, but we are not magicians and things happen. Sometimes for our own well-being and the greater good of society. Cliche as it might seem, cliches exist for a reason.
6. “This happened to me last year, and look where I am now…”
Failure is your best friend. And even if failure had nothing to do with what took place, you should come back after what occurred feeling stronger and even more determined to approach life in a happy, ambitious manner.
7. “Don’t settle for satisfaction-- always reach higher!”
Life goes on and it is relatively short. So always pull hard for something that you want to accomplish. It's okay if you're in school and are not sure about what you want to do yet. This is more than 90% prominent across most college campuses, and it's not a bad thing! There is always more room to strive for greatness.
8. “If you need something, come hang out!”
I came to these folks' room because I was seeking to distract myself from outside drama. And you know what? That's okay, because everybody needs a break and everybody needs people to go to for assistance. Find those people and do something high-spirited or fun once.
9. “Look up Arnold Schwarzenegger’s 6 rules of success.”
Because they are legit and might be extremely helpful.
10. “That moment will click when you look at yourself in the mirror and say, ‘Huh, I deserve better than this!’”
And you know what? You do! Don't contradict yourself and do love yourself. It happens to everybody. It happened relatively late for me, but it happened. And I learned to stop surrounding myself with negativity and inflicting myself with pessimism and guilt. Life is too short and that morning when I woke up, I looked at myself and said: "No more of this. It can't be happening anymore. It's time for a change." And from then on, I began making those changes happen. It was a pretty great feeling.
