At the age of 97, my Great Grandmother passed away on April 18th. I am heartbroken for my Great Grandfather. I am heartbroken for those left behind who loved her dearly. It is hard to think of no longer seeing her sitting in her chair next to Great Grandpa. It is sad to think that we will no longer play games together and have sweet conversations. In the sadness, however, there is happiness that for my entire life, I had a Great Grandmother who was an integral part of it. In spite of sadness, there is joy for a life lived with intention and purpose – lived to the very fullest.
Let me introduce my great grandparents to you: their names are Harlan and Florence Eicher. There are many things that made them an amazing couple, but one thing about them stands out above all others. My Great Grandpa and Grandma were married for 77 years. Can you imagine that? 77 years…that’s longer than the average life expectancy of most people. In our world today, that is an incredibly huge amount of time to be married. And, they were a couple for even longer than that.
My Great Grandma and Grandpa met as children. Great Grandpa’s dad was a pastor at the church that Great Grandma and her family attended, and they met there. Besides seeing each other at church, Great Grandpa would also walk past Great Grandma’s house every day when he went to school. On these mornings, she would be in her bathroom brushing her teeth, and would see him pass through her window. Very quickly she decided that he would be her husband someday. In 7th or 8th grade, they began dating, or “going out together,” as they termed it. They were always quite nostalgic when talking about and remembering the adventures they had during these years together. They had many fun dates that included ice skating, roller skating and swimming. Sometimes after they went ice skating, they would end the day by enjoying donuts and mugs of hot chocolate together. Great Grandpa definitely had a crush on Great Grandma, and when singing in the church choir, he would make sure to position himself as close to her as possible. He says he doesn’t remember much about the sermons because of that. Great Grandpa’s dad called their relationship with each other “puppy love.” When Great Grandpa left town for college, and Great Grandma’s family moved away, nobody expected their relationship to survive.
In spite of circumstances, my great grandparents were married in 1940, around 5 ½ years after they officially began dating. They proved to those who doubted them that distance did not matter. Soon, their relationship would be tested again due to the outbreak of World War II. Life became different. They owned a very nice car that they had to sell the tires off of because of the rubber drive during the war. Also, even though he protested, Great Grandma’s father loaned them money to help fund their first home. He did not think that they would be able to keep up with the payments because of the hardships that war brought. And yes, it was a struggle to keep up with payments and everything else that was going on due to the war, but they were able to pull through. Only about a year after their marriage, Great Grandpa was drafted into the Navy. The next 3 ½ years of their marriage would be spent mostly apart. This was a trying time for a newly married couple, but they remained faithful to each other.
Great Grandma and Grandpa ended up having four children, one of which is my Grandfather. Another of the struggles that their marriage survived was when their youngest child, a son, had spinal meningitis. They spent 3 weeks going back and forth from the hospital not knowing if he would live or not. Great Grandma remembered a special moment during that time. She asked the doctor, “Can we bring him something to eat?” The doctor replied, “That is against hospital rules, but I can’t help it if he has a sneaky mother.” This son, my great-uncle Dean did survive, and their marriage remained strong through the hardships of life.
My great-grandparents are not perfect. They have had their share of struggles. They have had their share of trials, yet somehow, they discovered a way to continue through life, and make things work. When asked what wisdom they could offer the younger generation for making a marriage last Great Grandma said, “To me, our background in the Baptist faith. My parents made me go to church. I feel like it was our faith, not that we didn’t have problems that we had to face and work out…” Great Grandpa replied with a gentle smile, “Just plain we loved each other.” “And a commitment. Marriage is a commitment before God, and we took it seriously,” Great Grandma finished.
My Great Grandparents did not let old age slow them down and instead continued to live life intentionally – with purpose. In their retirement, they both became EMT's and Great Grandma became a nationally registered paramedic. They were in their early 70's when they chose to do this! Great Grandma also spent countless hours upon hours knitting. Her grandchildren, great-grandchildren and even children she never met have benefited through the years from the many adorable knit hats, sweaters and more that she made. My Great Grandpa would spend hours in his wood shop crafting a variety of items.
I do not hold my great-grandparents up as perfect people. However, I commemorate them for their example of commitment to making a marriage work. They experienced hardships in their life, from the Great Depression, to World War II, to having a child with a near death illness. The example they set of faithfulness, love, and commitment is an outstanding example to younger generations. They offer splendid wisdom to those who are just discovering how life works. My great grandparents are an inspiration to me and all who know them, and I am thankful for the time I have had with them. I will miss so many things about Great Grandma, but she left a lasting legacy that will live on for years to come.
