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Sports

A Tribute To Baseball Butts

Thank you.

Arianna Abad

Jul 17, 2015

DePauw University

3358

Baseball. Whether you love it or hate it, there is no denying that these men have some talent. But what’s more? They have some serious ba-donk-a-donks.

I mean, what woman doesn’t love a good man-butt?

I, myself, am a personal fan.

Just look at it.

Admire it.

And when they stretch…? Jesus, take the wheel!

Father, please forgive me, for I am about to sin.

Somebody call 9-1-1, I think I’m having a heart attack.

Even the players can’t seem to stay away.

*Gasp* She touched the butt! (I’m jealous.)

Somebody has been doing their squats.

Dear God…

So, if you play baseball…

I would like to thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

It doesn’t matter the position, or whether you are a pro, collegiate, or high school player (okay, maybe not high school)…

Call me.

Seriously.

#stlcards

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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A Tribute To Baseball Butts

Thank you.

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Here are just a few of those things.

Take the time to thank that one friend in your life you will never let go of.

1. Thank you for being the one I can always count on to be honest.

2. Thank you for accepting me for who I am.

3. Thank you for teaching me what real love feels like.

4. Thank you for always making sure I'm safe.

5. Thank you for going through things with me.

6. Thank you for teaching me to take care of myself.

7. Thank you for going out of your way to make me feel supported.

8. Thank you for always being there to back me up, even when you know I'm wrong.

9. Thank you for constantly pushing me to live up to my potential.

10. Lastly, thank you for making such a huge impact on my life.

Sleepovers are not a thing. They're just not.

1. You only ask things once.

2. Seriously, you only ask once.

3. When you do muster up the courage to ask your parents for something, you creep around and wait until they’re in a good mood.

4. Before you get that final yes, you have to go through an interview.

5. If you ever got “the eye,” you knew you were screwed.

6. You were always the first to leave your group of friends when hanging out.

7. If you say you will be home at a certain time, you better be home at that time.

8. Seeing a missed call from your parents sends fear and horror through your veins.

9. If relatives are coming over to the house, your room better be clean.

10. You are careful about what jokes you share with your parents.

11. "You’re not an adult until you turn 18! You can do whatever you want then!"

12. If plans change while you’re out, you better text or call.

13. Don’t talk back. Ever.

14. When you’re called by your full name, you’re in deep trouble.

15. Don’t make them call your name twice.

16. Sleepovers are not a thing.

17. Despite all of these things, you know your parents love you.

For better or for worse

1. Pets

2. Mornings

3. Mistakes

4. Cooking for yourself

5. Hosting

6. Taking care of yourself

7. Holidays

8. Roommates

9. Keeping focused and getting stuff done

10. Cleaning

11. Social life

No, really. I'm not mad. Just hungry.

1. You’re tired of people asking you if you know what “RBF” stands for every time you zone out.

2. You’re constantly using the excuse, “I’m just tired” when people ask you if you’re mad.

3. Or “I’m just thinking.”

4. In fact, you’re rarely ever actually mad.

5. But when you are, people usually can’t tell.

6. You find other people with RBF’s and have to convince yourself that you don’t look like them.

7. You constantly remind yourself, “At least I’m not a psycho.”

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