I had the misfortune of being part of a conversation this week that went something along the lines of "Oh, I'm dating so-in-so now. It's just a trial run though." Let's stop there. Trial runs are for baking. You know, adding walnuts to your brownie batter and seeing how it goes, not for relationships. Let's go back to the basics here: If you think something sounds like a bad idea, it probably is, so just don't do it. Don't waste people's time just because you are lonely. That's selfish. Do you see what I'm getting at here? This, along with countless other reasons, is why women have a distorted view of their identity and self-worth. When you say things like "She's just a trial run" there's a list of underlying connotations that follow. It probably looks similar to this:
"I'm settling for her and can do better."
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"She's just a time filler."
"I'm bored and lonely."
"I'm going to leave her."
And none of that is secure, not that security was ever the intention I guess. But ladies, you are worth SO MUCH MORE than this! You don't deserve to be a time filler; you are loved more deeply than you can imagine. You don't land somewhere in the grey area of being simultaneously too much and not enough; you were created with a purpose and have deep value.
This isn't coming from a place of a second-wave feminist that embodies the stereotype of hating men because I just don't land in that category; rather, this is coming from a woman that simply sees value in other people. A woman who, after years and years of feeling both too much and not enough, has realized her worth and value comes from Jesus and his death on a cross, not from a man and his fleeting affections. A woman who is filled with strength and resilience. A woman who realizes that she doesn't have to fight to be known and loved because she has been known and loved more deeply than anyone can ever know or love her on this side of Heaven.
So let's just keep the trial runs to baking, shall we? That's where they're most useful.
