On the outside, the trash men and the recycling men seem quite similar. Their job is pretty much the same, they are both employed by the state, and spend their work day throwing rubbish into a truck as large as it is disgusting. One could assume that they are all old pals who spend a great deal of time eating chicken finger at the neighborhood joint, while discussing rats, maggots, and other trash related topics. However, I do not believe this for a second. I do not believe the facade built by the trash and recycling world to shield the public from the truth. I don’t believe it for a second. There is something fishy going on in the trash world and it is not the moldy fish at the bottom Red Lobster’s dumpster.

I observe the trash and the recycling men every morning while groggily trudging towards work, and I have come to the conclusion that they have beef. In my opinion the recycling men are the aristocrats of the trash world. I mean look at them. While the trash men are getting down and dirty with maggot ridden bags of decaying food, and other things of gross nature, the recycling men are simply dumping emptied plastic bottles into a truck. I’m telling you the recycling men are the bourgeoisie of the trash world. They have less odor, less grime, their stigma is far better (recycling men are not associated with the never ending piles of trash polluting our planet), and in my opinion they have better trucks. It is every trash mans dream to be a recycling man, and the recycling men know it.

I decided to test my theory the other day. It was another hot humid late May day, you could almost taste the summer in the air but it needed a couple more minutes in the oven. Anyway enough of my babble, I decided to take a drive down to the Mount Hope Recycling Center in Bristol, Rhode Island to see what the recycling men were up to during their lunch break. It was a sight to behold. The building was gorgeous, it was a late Victorian era mansion however the interior had an almost Rococo style. The furniture was gilded with gold, original Jean-Honoré Fragonard’s hung from the wall, the wall paper was made of group rubies and emeralds, and each room featured a quiet yet delightful choir of Hungarian school boys. I was amazed, I made my way to the lunchroom and saw the most posh scene of my life. The recycling men were dressed in powdered wigs, cloaks made from dyed polar bear fur, and were enjoying a meal of caviar and barbecued Northern White Rhino resting on a plate made of ivory. Upon entering I was offered gorilla nuggets, and wine that predated George Washington to wash it down. While enjoying my lunch I asked the recycling men about their career and what they thought of the trash men. To some it up, they loved their career choice. Sir William McHenry; the leader of the group stated it was good life. They loved by everybody, and loathed by only the rubbish people (trash men). The state paid them incredibly, they could retire at the age of 55, and have a lot more political influence then we may believe. In fact the recycling men are have solely funded Donald Trump’s campaign in the upcoming election.Their views on the trash men were quite negative. McHenry stated, “ a trash man is a revolting creature from the deepest depth of hell. They are smelly, dirty, classless blobs, a career I would not wish on my most hated rival. They destroy the stigma of our career, and are banned from the Recycling Center”. Overall, I was surprised by the negativity exploited towards the trash men. Clearly their was a rivalry on the recycling side. I decided to head over to the dump the next day to get the point of view from the trash men.

The dump was a dump. I headed over to the lounge area for the trash men and it contrasted from the Recycling Center like blue contrasts with orange. The trash mens lounge was more of a shack then a building. Its walls were made of decaying fish carcasses, and the roof was made of moldy cheese slowly dripping on the floor. The room was not much larger than the table used for lunch, however it held a stench larger than the Soviet Union in 1975. The poor trash men were dressed in rags so stained that the color underlying cloth was unrecognizable, and they ate a meager meal of rat meat, Providence River water, and expired pickled eggs. I felt terrible for them. Their career is not all that different from the recycling men, but their lifestyle couldn’t differ more. Upon entering I was offered a chewed chicken bone from a KFC dumpster, and a glass of expired gopher milk. While pretending to eat my lunch I asked the trash men about their career and what they thought of the recycling men. Bertude Butts a tall slender man wrinkled from years of work did most of the talking. He hated his career. He said trash men had to work 16 hours a day, received the minimum wage in Mexico, and could not retire until the age of 75. It seemed like a terrible career. Butts stated his life was filled with poverty and depression, but he tried to make the best of it (a trait I respected). While other trash men despised the recycling men, Butts had no ill-will toward them. When I asked Butts about his opinion on the recycling men he stated, “While they are up tight, pretentious, and down-right rude I do not blame them. That lifestyle will do that to even the most honest man. Sure the pay and lifestyle difference is terrible, but there is nothing I can do about it. It is how it is, there is no point in fighting”. After this was said an aura of depression lingered in the air, I went back home and spent the remainder of the night pondering what I witnessed.

In conclusion I discovered there is a rivalry between the two careers. While they have very similar job descriptions the life style and pay cannot be any more different between the recycling and trash men. It is sad and emulates the ever expanding income gap in the United States. I believe the recycling men must get off of their high horse and welcome the trash men. By doing so I believe the trash men will begin to be fairly paid, and the two careers will be united. However, this will not happen the rivalry exists and is far greater than I have expected.