Let me bring you back to my senior year of high school. I was absolutely ecstatic about moving onto bigger and better things: college. The idea of living on my own and being fully independent was scary but thrilling. I could not wait for this new chapter. The beautiful, out-of-state, University of Alabama awaited me. I felt nothing but pride in what I would soon call my home for the next four years.
Freshman year was an amazing year, filled with life lessons that changed me in ways I didn't know were possible. I came back home that summer feeling like a different person, in a good way. Coming home from college for breaks, after being away for long periods of time is a feeling that is hard to explain, yet it is refreshing and bittersweet in many ways.
Being a student at The University Of Alabama is honestly amazing. I love college. I also dislike it. It is definitely a love-hate relationship. The hype at the football games is a feeling like no other. Being National Champions is pretty cool as well. The workload and stress while being so far from home, not as cool.
Sophomore year. I had the best roommates, the most loyal friends, a nice apartment, a quality education.
What more could a girl ask for?
It took a lot for me to come to terms with the idea of transferring schools. I knew it was in my best interest for my mental health and for the sake of my career and even though things seemed to be just peachy for me in the 205, I felt as though there was this void that needed to be filled back in New Jersey.
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I felt like a failure. The worst feeling is coming home from going out of state to school and having people think that I just couldn’t handle the college life, or it just wasn’t for me. However, I have realized that isn’t true. I had my fun and experience away from home at college. It was great, but now, I am completing the remainder of my college career back at home, and it honestly feels as though a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.
At times, it is hard to stay true to who you are and the values that mean the most to you. But I’ve come to realize how important this is. My family, for instance, means everything to me and being so far away from them makes me feel as though I am missing out on precious time spent with them that I won’t ever get back.
I am not a failure. I am learning how to survive in this complicated world. I am putting forth what means the most to me while pursuing a career that is the ultimate end goal that I will reach with the support of my family close by. I can do this with a fully accepting attitude that this is what I needed all along to mold my successes. I cannot keep convincing myself that I am happier than I really am here.
I am thankful for my two years spent at The University of Alabama and thankful beyond belief for that opportunity to try new things and trust in myself to make the best of every situation and learn from them as well. College is a crazy roller coaster that has loops and turns that are unexpected at times. If you told me my senior year of high school that I would end up transferring my junior year back home, I’d tell you that you were crazy.
Experience is what has brought me to my reality, and I am thankful for that experience while it lasted.
Cheers to my future. No what-ifs. This is it. Now is the time. I can do this.
