It has been brought to my attention — and I'm sure I'm not alone here — that conservative media has decided that we trans folk are trying to push some kind of ~agenda~ on to society that is meant to undermine people's natural way of thinking. According to many, we use special powers of mind control to mutate the cis into ~trans~.

First of all, I would like to thank all of you conservative conspiracy theorists for acknowledging that we ~trans~ are magical enough to use mind-control powers on the cis — because we are.

I can also tell that y'all are very curious as to what our exact agenda is, as the headlines featured above seem to be conflicting. Well, you're in luck, because right in this here listicle, I am about to reveal to you...

✨THE TRANS AGENDA✨

Disclaimer: This agenda was written by trans guy Holden Joseph Bender Bernstein and does not necessarily reflect the views of other trans folks (but most likely does).

1. CONFUSE THE CIS!

Mwahaha, yes! Oh, cis folk, you think you know who you like? WRONG! I am a trans guy who likes guys, but I don't even PASS as cis, and I often get hit on by straight girls who are just so taken by my handsomeness, that they start to get confused!!! Every single trans person I know is HOT! The first step on the agenda is working!!!

I mean, look how cute I am!

2. Smash the binary!

Binary folx and nonbinary folx alike, we love smashing gender roles and the binary. I am a trans guy who loves makeup! I am such a pretty boy! There is more than just penis and vagina.

3. Hold space for one another!

Holding space is providing the means for someone to say what they need to say and feel what the need to feel. It is like preparing a metaphorical microphone for the person to speak into; giving the person the opportunity to have feelings in a way that is most effective for them.

We trans folx are really good at that as a community, we are always trying to uplift each other and make efforts to uplift voices that are even more marginalized than our own.

4. Make art!

There is a huge trans presence in the poetry community along many other artistic communities. We have a lot of feelings and like to make art out of them so that other people will hear us.

5. Encourage platonic love and cuddles!

So long as both parties consent and are into it, we love to love and snuggle each other! I have never met a more cuddly community than the trans community!

6. Take selfies!

Because we're too cute not to, and we know it. (Oh hey, look, it's me again!)

7. Get folks to learn to just "Google it"!

Sometimes people ask their trans peers some really easily google-able questions, and it takes a lot of emotional labor for us to answer them. We, as trans, try to encourage that people do their own research before coming to us with questions that people bug us with all the time.

If, for some reason, you just need more information from a real-live-trans-person, ask them if they have the spoons or the space to answer a trans question before asking them the question. IT IS NOT OUR RESPONSIBILITY TO EDUCATE YOU! WE OWE YOU NOTHING!

8. Bake desserts for each other!

I have no clue why, but the trans community has this amazing culture of people who know how to bake offering to bake all kinds of desserts for one another, and it is fantastic. Definitely a highlight of the agenda.

9. Pee in peace!

WE'VE JUST GOTTA PEE, Y'ALL! LIKE STOP TELLING US WHERE WE CAN AND CANNOT PEE! WE WANT NOTHING MORE THAN TO PEE IN PEACE, K?

And, last but not least...

10. Exist!

We are here. We are real. Everyone should believe in us, and we will not stop until that happens.