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The Tragic Tale Of Target

RIP to my bank account.

Jasmine Bogart-Falbo

May 31, 2017

University of Wisconsin Branch Schools

Minnesotaconnected

I try to avoid Target at all costs. Not because I hate it, it’s the exact opposite actually. I avoid it in order to save my closet space and my money. Target is like a bad blackout night of drinking. You don’t really know what happened, but you dread checking your bank account after.

This is the tragic tale of Target, a story we all know all too well.

Starbucks

At first, I might walk past it claiming I don’t need coffee, but that’s actually just me lying to myself. Target’s Starbucks always seems to rope me in eventually.

The $3 section

Whoever put that right next to the door is a genius and the devil all in one.

Make-Up

Even if I have the same three eye shadow palette or five shades of the same lipstick, Target always makes it seem even more appealing than the other ones you already have.

Home Decor

Target always brings out my inner interior designer. New lamp? New bedspread? New rug? New pillows? Why not just a whole new room??

The list could go on and on. There is no such thing as just going to Target real quick. It is like a black hole, it sucks you in. You’ll go in only needing a couple items and suddenly end up with a whole shopping cart. It’s insane how every item you pick up, you find some way to justify how you absolutely NEED it.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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The Tragic Tale Of Target

RIP to my bank account.

Starbucks

The $3 section

Make-Up

Home Decor

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There are plenty of obstacles that come when taking care of kids, but it's a very rewarding experience.

1. You get excited when the parents purchase season passes to the pool.

2. You've become friends with the stay-at-home moms in town.

3. You get a chance to eat "kid foods" again.

4. You've traded in your cute purse for a large tote bag.

5. You have at least one car seat in your backseat.

6. Their nap time is your happy time.

7. Lunch time can be a disaster.

8. You have to play the same board games repeatedly.

9. You catch yourself using the same lines your parents once told you.

10. Your "mom-mode" kicks in at times.

11. Your heart melts a little when they do something cute.

You'll never find any souvenirs with your name on it

1. You know you are up next when the teacher pauses while taking attendance

2. When “I’m going to do my very best to make sure I know all your names” is said, it may or may be an empty promise

3. “Wow! That sounds so cool! Where is your family from?”

4. You dread when people ask you to repeat your name over and over because it “sounds so cool when you say it”

5. There’s a 50/50 chance that your name will come back either correct or incorrect at Starbucks

6. People try to find shorter, easier nicknames for you instead of calling you by your actual name

7. When someone famous or fictional character shares your name, you get so happy

8. “What’s your name?” “It’s [name]” “I’m sorry, what was it again?”

9. You’ve pretty much seen every misspelling and heard every mispronunciation of your name throughout your life

10. When you find another person with an “ethnic” sounding name, you both get excited

11. Despite the struggles, your name is pretty unique… just like you

Can I be excused for the rest of my life?

Don't Be That Person

1. “Oh, so you/your family are immigrants!”

2. “Is Puerto Rico near Mexico?”

3. “Do you speak Puerto Rican?”

4. “You look too light/dark to be Puerto Rican.”

5. “Do I need my passport to go to Puerto Rico?”

6. “Geez, you are obsessed with your flag. We get it, you’re Puerto Rican.”

7. “Why are you so loud?”

8. “So does your family know English?”

9. “Oh my god, Puerto Ricans are so spicy.”

10. “So did you eat a lot of tacos?”

11. “Are you Mexican?”

Love hard, every day, and never be ashamed.

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