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9 Trader Joe's Wines Under $10 To Pair With Your Quarter Life Existential Crisis

Something about a good fruity red and a PB&J just works. Just like I have no idea what I'm doing.

Elizabeth Rutledge

May 20, 2018

University of Oregon

635

9 Trader Joe's Wines Under $10 To Pair With Your Quarter Life Existential Crisis

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I'm pretty sure every 20-something has experienced that inevitable quarter life panic where you realize that you have no idea what you're doing with your life, you still haven't figured out who you're going to be when you grow up, and you feel all the stress all the time.

Right now, that's me and that's been me for the last four years. I changed my major six times, changed schools, changed extracurriculars and social circles, and I still have no idea what I'm doing.

But one thing has remained the same through it all: wine.

Being a broke-ass millennial, I like my wine cheap. Not all cheap wine is good and you deserve the best when you're crying on a Tuesday. Plus, these are all under $10 at Trader Joe's.

1. Pacific Grove Barrel Fermented Chardonnay

Price: $5.99

Pairing: popcorn

Buttery wine + buttery popcorn = winning combo.

2. Prophecy Sauvignon Blanc

Price: $9.99

Pairing: Cheez-itz

Wine with cheese and crackers is obviously a classic pairing, but I'm too exhausted from my constant state of stress for that kind of effort.

3. Trader Joe's Grower's Reserve Zinfandel

Price: $4.99

Pairing: Indian takeout

TREAT. YO. SELF.

4. Velvet Moon Cabernet Sauvignon

Price: $5.99

Pairing: Reese's Peanut Butter Cups

If you think about it, wine is basically fruit, so this basically counts as a PB&J.

5. Chateau Ste Michelle Riesling

Price: $6.99

Pairing: Sour Patch Kids

So you know how Sour Patch Kids are sour and then sweet? This wine is kinda the opposite, so they're a perfect pair.

6. Green Fin Red Table Wine

Price: $3.99

Pairing: leftover pizza

I feel like the existence of table wine implies that there's also bed and couch wine, right??

7. Liberté Pinot Noir

Price: $9.99

Pairing: PB&J

Something about a good fruity red and a PB&J just works. Maybe it's the jam, but who knows. Just like I have no idea what I'm doing.

8. Josefina Rosé

Price: $5.99

Pairing: cookie dough ice cream

When you pair a pint of ice cream with wine, it qualifies as a meal.

9. Les Portes de Bordeaux Rosé

Price: $6.99

Pairing: Cool Ranch Doritos

I don't know why this works. I just know that it's f*cking delicious.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Recommended for you

9 Trader Joe's Wines Under $10 To Pair With Your Quarter Life Existential Crisis

Something about a good fruity red and a PB&J just works. Just like I have no idea what I'm doing.

1. Pacific Grove Barrel Fermented Chardonnay

2. Prophecy Sauvignon Blanc

3. Trader Joe's Grower's Reserve Zinfandel

4. Velvet Moon Cabernet Sauvignon

5. Chateau Ste Michelle Riesling

6. Green Fin Red Table Wine

7. Liberté Pinot Noir

8. Josefina Rosé

9. Les Portes de Bordeaux Rosé

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For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1. When it's December 1 and you have seven things due, three exams, and haven't slept in three days.

2. So you stress.

3. And cry.

4. Then call your mom to cry some more.

5. After the pep talk, you feel determined to get everything done.

6. But, now you're tired.

7. And really hungry.

8. Suddenly, it's 2 a.m. and you have only written three sentences and your paper is due in the morning.

9. You've made it to Friday... somehow.

10. Then Sunday hits and you find yourself back at the Lib.

11. So you cry some more.

12. But, you fight through the tears to get everything done because you're determined.

13. In the end, you feel on top of the world because you made it through the last week of class alive.

14. But, now it's finals week so good luck.

"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

1. I'm so tired. I need a nap. Maybe I can sleep with my eyes open in class? Or pretend I'm not napping?

2. We have a test today? Why didn't anyone tell me? Did I know this?!

3. Can I quit school yet? It's only October, and I need a vacation.

4. The struggle is so real.

5. I'm so broke. SOS.

6. Stressed? Eat everything you own in your pantry and stuff your face with all your feelings.

7. "Did we have anything due in class today? Homework? Quiz? Test?" "Not that I know of..."

8. I need food. Where is the closest place to get food? I need it stat.

9. This is the longest day of my life. I need a drink, or two, or three.

10. Sleep? What is sleep? What a foreign concept.

11. When someone suggests going and studying in the library, let alone studying in general.

12. When the cafeteria or student center is packed and you can't find a seat anywhere so you literally have to sit in an abandoned corner.

13. When you see someone you used to hook up with. They see you, and approach you; so you have to pretend like everything is normal.

14. When you get your exam and realize you didn't study as much as you should have.

15. When you crush it on an exam or paper that you totally bullshitted.

16. I need a grande, extra strong coffee to get me through today.

17. When the professor announces you have a project due the following week with no instruction on what it's on and how to do it.

18. Is it Friday yet? Where's the weekend when you need it most?

19. It's freezing in here. I feel like I'm sitting in an igloo. I should have brought a jacket or worn long pants.

20. Did I remember my book? Damn, I forgot the book, and of course I need it for that quiz in class.

21. I would pay a million dollars to not go to class today; or actually never again.

22. I need a hoverboard to ride to class. Maybe then I wouldn't be running 15 minutes late to class every day.

23. Oh she/he's cute! I wonder if they're single. Who are they texting? They're BF/GF? I wonder if they think I'm cute. Could they be a potential new bae?

24. Why is there never any parking? I pay thousands of dollars a year for one parking spot to be open.

25. When it feels like you've been in class for an hour and you look at your phone and it has only been five minutes (I'm crying on the inside).

26. When the professor asks if there are any more questions at the end of class and someone raises their hand.

27. When you get assigned the most incompetent group of people possible for a group project.

28. I need a comfort dog so I can avoid all life and school responsibilities.

"A Christmas Story" is the star on top of the tree.

Who isn't stressing out over finals right now?

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