When something is bad for you, you typically avoid it. People who have alcoholism in their family stray away from partying. People with nut allergies won't go and have a PB & J. People who are easily sunburned tend to sit in the shade. These are all acceptable. No one questions or judges these people for avoiding things that do not make them feel good. But when it comes to people avoiding other people who do not make them feel positive, it is not as easily accepted. It can be seen as immature or rude. But the truth is, letting go of someone who is toxic is healthy.
Toxic. That is a loaded word. By definition, toxic means "actingasorhavingtheeffectofapoison;poisonous." When it comes to discussing a person who is toxic, anyone can create a meaning for the word. Sherrie Bourg Carter, Psy.D defines a toxic relationship as a relationship involving insecurity, abuse of power and control, demands, selfishness, insecurity, self-centeredness, criticism, negativity, dishonesty, distrust, demeaning comments and attitudes, and jealousy. Various words and actions affect everyone differently, so it is not right for one to tell someone else that what they are feeling is invalid. If a person makes you constantly feel any sort of negativity, they are toxic and no one should tell you that it is wrong for you to eliminate them from your life.
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Psychologically speaking, a toxic relationship can lead to many issues. Your self-confidence gets destroyed and your stress levels can increase to highly unhealthy levels. Toxic relationships also consume a lot more energy, while healthy relationships do not. Also, victims of unhealthy relationships are more likely to become negative as a result of being in a highly negative situation.
Not only does keeping toxic people around affect your psyche, but it can also take a toll on you physically. A long-term study that started in 1985 and went on for about 12 years looked at the physical health risks unhealthy personal relationships can cause. After the study concluded, the results showed that people who had unhealthy, or toxic, personal relationships were more likely to develop heart problems including a fatal heart attack more so than people who did not have unhealthy relationships.
All of these health implications caused by toxic relationships are not only reasons for people to eliminate toxic relationships and people from their lives, but also reasons for people to not shun anyone for doing so. Whether it is your girlfriend, boyfriend, family member or friend, if your relationship with them classifies as toxic, it is in your best interest to let them go. It can be a difficult process, but it will be very worthwhile and the end result will have you feeling lighter and a lot happier.
