A lot of people assume that "cutting the toxic people out of your life" will right every wrong in life and give you a clean start.

They aren't completely wrong. Saying "no" to a stressful and negative influence can lift weight like five elephants off of your chest, but elephants are heavy. Think - the longer those elephants sit on your chest, the more damage they may cause. What happens when you back out of a bad relationship (romantic or otherwise), and you're left with emotional scars?

Starting over after a lot of hurt might not be as easy as you'd like it to be, and that's okay.

As I'm saying this, it's definitely not to toot my own horn, but I have more experience with these sorts of relationships than I'd like to admit. I'll lay out my usual process. Escaping a horrible relationship is a huge ordeal in and of itself. There are so many feelings of yours and the other person's involved - manipulation, hurtful words, tears, the works. Once you cut ties, you go through regret and feeling guilty. A lot of people might not understand, so you may not have the support you need. People on the outside of your relationship think they understand your situation so clearly and don't understand why you can't come to an immediate acceptance of the fact that you should be moving forward. After all of that hurt, you realize you aren't out of the woods just yet.

After experiencing hurt and betrayal pretty regularly with the people I loved, I've hurt, but I've also learned a few things.

First, hurting is okay.

Feeling what you're feeling is important. It's sad, but also common to be misunderstood while processing the new distance between you and the person you've had issues with. This can lead to bottling up emotions and pushing away the issue to appear as socially acceptable happy. Without feeling your emotions, though, it's difficult to resolve the issue within yourself.

Getting closure is important, even if that isn't from your loved one's mouth.

It can be difficult for anyone to admit they're wrong. Without the other person's acknowledgment of their own faults (as well as potentially your own), how can you move forward in your relationship? If this is the reason for your need for distance, coming to that closure yourself can be so much more difficult. You have to reason through their harsh words. Are they truthful or only meant to make you feel bad? You have to come to terms with the fact that unanswered questions and confusing lies won't ever be explained or justified. You have to find comfort and confidence in yourself that's maybe never been there before, pick yourself up, and potentially (eventually) face the prospect of opening yourself up again.

Loving is scary, especially when after the love has been twisted, you're left to pull yourself together on your own.

Whether you believe that everything happens for a reason or not, though, some lessons can be learned from every good and bad situation you're faced with in life. After the negativity is removed from your life, you've become stronger and learned you can handle more than you ever thought you could. You've learned to be careful with your heart, but can be open enough to the fact that trying for love is worth it. You've learned to look for people's actions to speak for themselves, and know that everyone you love needs to earn your trust. Most importantly, you've learned that you're your biggest support system.

If no one is there for you, you've got you, and that's priceless.