Nobody likes thinking their relationship is toxic. Most of the time, it's really hard to see the red flags when you really care about a person, which means it's more likely that you ignore them. This means that you're the one getting hurt. And you might be thinking, "Well... They're going through a lot and need my support," or "They don't really mean to hurt me, so it's okay,".
If someone is causing you stress, anxiety, making you depressed, and/or aren't caring about you and your wellbeing... And I know this is going to sound harsh, but... KICK THEM OUT OF YOUR LIFE!
No one deserves to be treated badly in a two-way relationship! It's all about mutual trust and care for each other. The ability to communicate and help one another with their problems is a huge part of a healthy relationship. EVERYONE deserves a healthy relationship. If that person isn't being understanding or trying to work with you to build a better relationship, then I'm sorry, but it's not worth it.
Think of it like you're on your own little island and taking care of it as best as you can. You've been working on your island for years and it's looking pretty nice, but what's that in the distance! A new person coming to your island! They may seem nice at first, but then they begin to dump trash on your island! It's polluting your lands and killing your ecosystem. So what do you do?
A healthy option is trying to talk to that person about dumping their trash on your island. It could work and that person would stop dumping their waste onto your island and work on being better.
However, that person could also be aggressive about it. They could say things like, "Well, it's your fault that I'm dumping my trash on your island!" or "Why are you whining about it? It shouldn't bother you that I'm ruining your island!". If the person does something like this that avoids taking the fault for their mistakes and trying to make the relationship better, then they don't deserve to be on your island. The best solution for those kinds of people is throwing them onto a boat and kicking them off your island.
You're in charge of your own island. You have to care about your own mental health and safety. And, unfortunately, there are people in the world who don't care about you or your island. This isn't your fault. Some people just suck like that. But you have to know you can't fix these people. The best option is to cut them out of your life. Not to say they won't change in the future. There should always be an option to forgive and start anew if that person has changed and isn't hurting your island anymore.
What you are NOT in charge of is someone else's trash. It doesn't matter how depressed they are or if they're going through something. You are NOT responsible for anyone else's happiness! Although it IS okay to be there and support a person. But it isn't your responsibility to fix the issue for that person. If they want you to fix their issues for them or make you feel like you have to fix their problems for them, that's the trash polluting your island that you are not responsible for. That's toxic.
Your health and safety should come first and having someone that is hurting you in your life isn't worth being around. It's hard to see who in your life is toxic when you see only the best in a person, but it's definitely something very important to understand. You deserve the best for you, your mental health, your physical health, and your island. Don't let someone pollute your life, because it's the only one you have!
