Everyone wants or feels the need to have friends. Some friends can be more promising than others but "What if our friendships are what are really hurting us in the long run?"

For many, friendship is seemingly important, for me it is becoming just another way of becoming a target. When we're young we find ourselves trying to make friends and fit in, and if we're lucky some of those friendships can last a life time. For me that has never been the case. Is it possible to build a lasting friendship with someone who constantly hurts you? Believe me when I say that having a toxic friendship can cause a lot of emotional and physical damage to a person.

For me growing up and never having a true and real friendship was hard. Every time that I thought I had made a real friend they all, without hesitation, eventually turned on me. This made me become self-conscious and feel like I didn't belong. For years I would come home from school and the minute my parents walked in the door and asked "How was your day?" I would break down into tears. I would uncontrollably cry for hours while hiding in my room saying that that I didn't want to go back to school, and I constantly found myself asking them "Why am I such an easy target? Is it because I'm different?" Sometimes I still ask myself the same question and deep inside there is a part of my mind that believes that this is the reason why I am such an easy target to be prayed upon.

From the first grade to my senior year of high school was the hardest for me. I became very shy and quiet and didn't have many trustworthy friends. I often went to class with my head down and my shoulders hunched over. For those 9 long years I felt invisible and alone. It wasn't until the summer of 9th grade when I met you playing summer ball that I felt I had found someone who truly understood me and would be my best friend till the end of time. I pictured us being Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway from Bride Wars when we got older. After becoming friends with you everything seemed to become a little better. I found myself walking the hallways with my head up and graduation was a whole lot more exciting knowing that we were going to celebrate our graduating high school together. I thought that I had found myself again when I was with you. Everyone would tell me that I seemed a lot happier and that I needed to smile more because I had a nice smile that they had never saw before. I thought that we were going to be friends forever, that is until I got to see the real side of you.