I am a fan of a lot of people and things. Here is a short itemized list of things and people I "stan" (the fandom word for obsess over): Nathan Chen, Shoma Uno, myself (on good days), The Office, Chopin, Rosalind Franklin, and my mom.

Being in a fandom can be really fun. My obsessions are fairly strange, so finding people with similar interests is really exciting, even if it's just on the Internet. I've made so many friends over the years, discussing theories and watching videos. Overall, it's been a really fun experience.

But sometimes, fandoms are toxic and immature, and that's when an innocent friendship turns to something much more sinister. Here's how a fandom turned me against a group I loved:

At this point, you probably have heard of BTS, the Korean boy band that's made waves in America, with lots of media coverage and even invitations and performances at prestigious award shows. While they're still relatively new in the West, they are a big deal and have amassed one of the largest fandoms around the world. They're called ARMY and they're crazy. Now, I know I'm generalizing a lot - most ARMYs are very sweet and supportive - but the bad apples are usually the loudest, and the bad apples are pretty rotten.

Now, I hate when people say this, but I was a fan of BTS before they were popular. Like, I was a fan from their debut, way before they hit it big in Korea and way, way before they got recognition in the West. I loved their music and their personalities, their tenacity and their underdog story. They inspired me to work harder and to follow my dreams, and their music always made me feel better.

At first, when they started to get popular, I was happy for them. All their hard work was paying off. They could pay their debts and send money home to their parents. I wanted them to be happy and keep making music because I believed they truly loved it. As their fanbase grew, I started noticing ARMYs on the Internet and even at school. It started harmlessly, with people wearing BTS merchandise or seeing a YouTube account with a BTS-related username. But soon I saw ARMYs everywhere. On every YouTube video, even those that didn't relate to BTS at all, there would be a comment saying, "Any ARMYs here?" or "Go watch BTS's new music video!"

Even as a fan, I got annoyed. And then suddenly, the competition begun. I had always liked Kpop in general, not just BTS, but suddenly it was BTS vs. the rest of Kpop, especially with another extremely popular boy group named EXO. Being a fan of both groups, I began feeling conflicted, something that had never happened before. ARMYs on the Internet argued who was more talented, had bigger achievements, garnered more awards. Everything was a competition. Suddenly, I was called a "traitor" for listening to both groups. What?! Why is it such a crime to like music from more than one artist?

Things escalated quickly from there. BTS was nominated for a Billboard Music Award, and their fandom grew even faster. Suddenly, everyone was super focused on YouTube views. Whenever BTS came out with new music, fans participated in streaming, basically watching a video over and over on multiple devices to increase the view count. They wanted 5 million, then 10 million, more and more until they broke records. Once again, I was happy for BTS, but I felt increasingly irked at how these records were broken and just the sheer loudness of the fandom. The whole Kpop community felt it, and suddenly, being a fan of BTS had certain connotations - loud, annoying, jealous, competitive, problematic, toxic. I felt myself distancing myself from the group I once loved because I didn't want to be pegged as another crazy ARMY. I finally went the distance and cut off my ties with the fandom after an argument that ended in death threats.

On one of the group's new music videos, a lot of fans were mentioning streaming with comments like, "We're almost at 20 million! Keep streaming, everybody!" and "Wow, I have ten computers open on ten different accounts so we can get BTS more views!" Ugh. That day, they broke a record, something about having the most views for a Kpop group in 24 hours. Usually, I would've been happy for them, but it really annoyed me that day because I knew their win wasn't legitimate. It was basically cheated into making by their fans. There weren't actually that many people who had watched the video. I read later that almost a fourth of those views on that video, up to 4 million, had been mass streamed. It made me a little angry, indignant that the fandom would blatantly cheat like this and even brag about it in the comments.

I vented a little to my friends, and finally left a comment about the streaming. I felt better afterwards and forgot about it. The next day, I checked my email at school. I had no less than 78 notifications from YouTube, all new comments under mine either attacking me or arguing about the legitimacy of streaming. There was cursing, threats, just really mean things about me and others who defended me. Seeing the backlash, I decided not to say anything else, but continued checking the comment thread as I kept getting notifications from YouTube. It ended with a group of three or four promising to find us and show us what happened to fake fans. I wasn't scared, just disgusted at what one comment had come to. Two days later, they found my Twitter account. They didn't stop until I had blocked them all.

I don't consider myself a BTS fan anymore. I even catch myself annoyed when I hear about a new accomplishment. It just means more crazy fans that show up everywhere. I still have a few of their songs in my playlist, and I'm proud of them, but I won't associate with their fans any longer. It's crazy what people will do for a group of boys they've never met.