A towering well stands tall in the field.
Alone and faded, withstanding time itself.
Yet it’s been filling, filling and flooding
Stress cracks can be seen, spreading and crawling
Up and down the walls.
Leaks are popping up
Spraying my emotions all over.
The field is being smothered.
Rivers of color run rampant,
Black, pink, red, yellow and orange
Blue and purple also swirling among them.
The pain mixes, regret slips in.
Anger, fear, and sadness all swim by.
The prettiest expression of pain ever.
And with a loud "crack" the tower falls.
Stones flying and crumbling, splashing down in the sea of misery
Sending wave after wave convulsing through the field.
No longer is thought involved.
Its an impulse. Heart wants, body responds
It’s not a choice, the pain drives you forward.
I hate the pain but I love it.
It tells me I feel.
It tells me I can love.
It tells me I’m not an empty shell.
Not a heartless husk preying on others.
There may be a void but it’s not unstoppable.
There is hope. There is a chance.
And from the lapping sea of emotion roaring in front of me,
Jumps a creature of light.
One I can ride till the end.
It’s not an end to the pain.
Merely knowledge that I can do it
My emotions are out. I can’t lock them back up.
The well I spent years building has fallen.
I cannot go back but I can go forward.
I had and I lost.
I loved and I hurt.
I died and survived.
I will wait and live and feel.
But the pain keeps me tethered.
One thought, one goal.
Whether it’s in the light or the shadow I will see it.
The path I follow is not one of ease.
Not even one of likely success.
But it’s the path I travel.
The path that I choose now.
I choose pain.
But, I also choose to hope.
