Friendships are a lot like romantic relationships, but they tug on the heart strings without romantic attachment. Friendships sometimes arise in the oddest of situations, or with the oddest combination of people. That’s what makes friendships so unique — the people and the experiences/situations. But friendships have to be mutual, two-sided, or triangular; but most of all, mutual. Unfortunately, that’s where friendships can fall flat and die out. Especially in groups of more than two people. Plus, attending different colleges doesn't make it easier.
I never really wanted to be a party girl. Still don’t. Alcohol doesn’t interest me too much, and I would much prefer a good book than a raging party on a Friday night. But you enjoy parties, and I recognize that. So, I’m sorry I’m not the party girl you had hoped for, or drinking partner you wanted. But we had plenty of fun without the parties, some memories I will never forget. And, I will always be here to save you from a bad situation, because that’s what friends are for.
I have had a few boyfriends, but none when we were friends, and, honestly, I didn’t really mind to be the fourth/fifth wheel at times. But I wasn’t really interested in being set up with somebody or picking someone random to be with. I know you wanted me to be happy and that you wanted me to be happy with a guy, but I really wasn’t interested at the moment. I saw you glow with happiness as you developed new relationships, and I’m sorry I didn’t have one. But I was happy by myself and didn’t need sympathy. Being single is OK. However, I will always be here — ice cream in hand — for the heartbreaks that may come. Because that’s what friends are for.
Everyone in our graduating class knew your name. Knew you as the two best friends. I’m sorry I wasn’t a part of that, but wanted to be. I’m sorry that kids I went to school with for 10 years still didn’t know my name. I’m sorry I didn’t stand out in high school. I’m sorry those were factors for you in our friendship. I’m not sorry that I got to know you and that we became friends. I’m not sorry that my name wasn’t completely known, because I wasn’t completely unknown either. I’m not sorry that I didn’t stand out in high school, because I think I did, in my own way that maybe wasn’t super important to anyone else.
Your friendship meant more to me than you will ever know. I found friendship with you two at a time I really needed it, a time when I felt lost. I don’t think you realize that, and maybe you never will, and that’s OK too. You brought me out of my shell and made me do things I might not have ever done. You made me feel loved, wanted, and appreciated. So, I’m sorry I couldn’t reciprocate any of that to you, or enough of it that would make you want to still be friends. To be completely honest, I’m not really sure what it was that ruined the friendship. If it was my fault, I’m sorry, and I hope that I can maybe someday make it up to you. Regardless, a friendship like we had was something new for me, and I’m glad I was a part of it with you. No matter what hard or easy times lie ahead, I am always only a phone call or text away.
