Every year, my high school football team would hold sports conditioning camps throughout the summer. The boys' high school football team was required to participate to stay in shape, but younger kids could sign up for a lighter version of it. It was a way the program could raise some money and it was also good entertainment for us older kiddos. One year, I went with a few other girls and because of our age, we were in the sessions with the football team.
I thought I was so cool, strutting onto that field at 7 a.m. with the squad.
I was still pretty amateur in my experiences with hardcore workouts, so I made a very rookie mistake. After finishing a workout segment (in 90 degree heat), we were given the mercy of a water break -- and praise God, glory, hallelujah! I felt like I could drink the Ogallala Aquifer and lick the rocks dry.
And that's about what I did. We brought it in for a "3-2-1-SPARTANS!" and I broke from the lines like Seabiscuit. I hadn't even had time to catch my breath before I was chugging down water. People say, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink." I say, "There wasn't nothin' a single person could have done to make me stop drinking."
Ten minutes later, the water break was over, and the coach summoned all of us sweaty devils to gather 'round in a big huddle. I ended up being in the inner circle, just a few feet away from the coach as he was saying words with his tough face. I couldn't tell you what he was saying, though, because something was happening to me. The Ogallala Aquifer was about to come back out, and it did in a glorious waterfall of epic proportions all over the head football coach's tennis shoes --and in front of the whole football team.
He wasn't very surprised. He just pulled me out of the circle, gave me a pity pat on my back and set me a few feet away to continue puking so that he could continue his speech.
Wait a second ... didn't the title of this article say something about sex?
Yes it did, and this is why: this story turned out to be a great metaphor to help me understand and articulate my understanding of sex.
When I am in a dating relationship, there will come a point where my boyfriend and I will have to talk about sex, and I am going to tell him, "Hey, Bae, I like you a lot; however, I am going to choose not to have sex until I am married. If that happens to be you, great; but if not, then it "sucks to suck" 'cause this bodacious body ain't for you."
I have reasons for that decision and one of them is because for me to have sex before I'm hitched is like what happened that day at conditioning camp. That nice little puke pool on the field began with an intense desire -- a thirst so strong that I wasn't even thinking straight. My self-control was gone (probably taking a bathroom break or something). And I drank, but it was more than I could handle. The capacity of my stomach was not able to handle the huge quantity of what I'd just deposited in it. And as a consequence, I tossed my cookies.
Sex is like the huge quantity of water I drank -- it's a lot. I'll expound on "a lot." Sex is a deeply emotional experience that's so powerful people can become addicted. When a relationships gets to that level, everything becomes way more complicated because sex knits souls together.
Judging by the reaction of my body to the water I practically inhaled, one could say that I did not have the capacity or ability to hold it down. And that's how I feel about sex in a relationship at any stage before marriage. A dating relationship with my boyfriend does not have the ability or capacity to "hold down" sex. I would just end up coming back out and it probably wouldn't be pretty.
Another way I like to look at it is by comparing it to the idea of not being able to hold your liquor. A dating relationship is like an amateur drinker, who can't keep it down. Marriage is like a seasoned drinker, who knows how to handle the hard stuff without puking.
I learned that lesson the hard way. Now, I'm stronger and wiser for it.