Finals week, it’s stressful. We all need an outlet to let out all of our pent up feelings though out the week and luckily Grey’s Anatomy is the perfect medium for that therapeutic cry. Here is a list of all the episodes that make you hate life and prove that Shondaland is a dark and twisty place. Obviously, spoiler alert.

10. Season 9 Episode 10- Things We Said Today

We’ve seen the rockiness of Adele and Richard’s relationship since season one. It wasn’t perfect, but it hard and true love. In this episode, their relationship comes to a tragic end as Adele dies of a heart attack after Bailey put her wedding on hold to try and save her life. Watching the Chief imagine Bailey and Ben as himself and Adele dancing to “My Funny Valentine” gets me every time.

9. Season 3- Episode 25- Didn’t We Almost Have it All?

Really the saddest part about this episode was Christina’s breakdown after Burke leaves her at the alter. Christina’s sobbing and Meredith cutting her out of her constricting dress is heartbreaking to see. Especially at how relieved she was not to marry this man and give up huge parts her identity.

8. Season 2- Episode 6- Into You Like a Train

A lot of people probably think this episode is soul crushing because Derek decides to stay with his wife and work on his marriage rather than stay with intern girlfriend Meredith after her heartfelt “Pick Me” speech. Yeah so sad. But while all of this is going on we see the two patients that are connected via a pole going through both of them. In order to save one of them, the other has to die. It is an interesting episode in itself as the doctors take on the role of God, but also how Bonnie accepts her death so quickly and with such bravery is enough to make anyone forget about Meredith’s recurring relationship drama.

7. Season 11 Episode 11- All We Could Do Was Cry

The title of the episode tells the viewers exactly what they’re getting into. My sweet babies April and Jackson, they’ve been through so much. And to watch them hold their terminal baby in their arms for the 15 minutes that it was alive. Not to mention the turmoil they had to deal with in the aftermath.

6. Season 11 Episode 21- How to Save a Life

In all honesty, I didn’t like Derek. I didn’t like Derek and Meredith. Probably the only Grey’s fan who kinda hates them. I mean I am just sick and tired of hearing Meredith bitch about Derek in that whiny Meredith voice. But, even as strong MerDer dissenter, Meredith pulling the plug on McDreamy, with “Chasing Cars” playing in the background.

5. Season 5 Episode 20- Sweet Surrender

Out of all of the patient stories, this one to me was always one of the hardest to watch. A little 6-year-old girl is dying of cystic fibrosis as her father frantically tries to find doctors in far off places that could help her. In doing this, the little girl is dying alone as Bailey holds her until her final moments her father stops trying and holds his daughter for her her last breaths.

4. Season 6 Episode 23 and 24- Sanctuary and Death and All His Friends

These episodes have everyone on the edge of their seat. For me, there was two pivotal tear jerking moments. In part one, is when Derek is shot as Meredith watches from afar. Definitely one Ellen Pompeo’s top performances in the show. For part two, it’s when Bailey discovers that the elevators has been shut off and comes to the heavy realization that there is no hope for Dr. Percy. Bailey holding him in her arms as she comforts him through death is enough to make even Karev shed a tear.

3. Season 2- Episode 27- Losing My Religion

One of the things Grey’s Anatomy does best is getting their audience to say “No! Not them! I really liked them!” Well, this was one of their first episodes in doing this, with the death of Denny Duquette. Just when you thought Izzy’s extreme (or psychotic) plan works, he just boom: dies. Izzy sobbing in her prom dress hugging on to his dead corpse while Alex takes her away was full on annihilating. Also, I don’t think anyone whose seen this episode can listen to “Chasing Cars” by Snow Patrol with out a little piece of them dying (That's why the show-runners keep using it, they like to see us in pain.)

2. Season 8 Episode 24- Flight

Whats the most efficient way to break a Grey’s fan’s heart? Put all the best characters on a plane and just crash it. Arizona lost her leg, Derek broke his hand, but the worst of the worst was the death of pure and sweet Lexie Grey. Just a few episodes after she made her heartfelt confession to Mark, she dies within the first fifteen minutes of the episode. The cherry on top of the sundae is Mark telling Lexie about their future together as she slowly dies. Oh, you thought it ended there? In the season 9 premier, Shonda decides to bitch slap her viewers by killing of Mark too. I guess I can find the comfort in the fact Mark and Lexie did end up together. (Leave it to Grey’s for having the only couple that stays together both be dead.)

1. Season 5 Episode 24- Now or Never

Oh god. It’s been about three years since I’ve seen this episode for the first time and I am still not over it. This was the first time Grey’s Anatomy killed off a major regular character, my sweet baby George. To twist the knife even further, the doctors and the audience didn’t know for the majority of the episode that the John Doe they are treating is actually their friend and colleague, Double 07. And to add salt to the already twisted knife wound, the episode ends with Izzy seeing the light in the elevator and as the doors open and you expect to see Denny on the other side, it opens to George in his military uniform just to confirm that he too has seen the other side. WHY SHONDA WHY.