Being referred to as "boring" carries a negative connotation, most of the time. To the person being called “boring,” it implies being complacent, uninteresting, or uninspiring. Depending on the source of this “insult,” you may be in fact “boring,” now what?
It’s ok... I am here to let you know that being boring is not as bad as it seems. The inspiration behind this advice is based on a conversation with a friend, who is often referred to as "boring." I beg to differ, I embrace her boring-ness (not a word, I know) and thought she should too.
Sources of her “boring” label were romantic interests and mutual friends with interest geared towards late nights out, unremembered events as a result of unintentional alcohol poisoning, and many regrets just to name a few. I do not knock those behaviors as well because they hold life lessons. Being in our late twenties and early thirties, my girlfriends have diverse meanings of “fun.” For this particular friend, we will call her Shay, this label deeply bothered her. Here are five things we talked about over a very AWESOME bottle of red wine.
1. Being strong and having a secure self-esteem.
Shay has one of the highest self-esteemsI have encountered. She does not seek approval or validation from anyone, which shocked me about her being bothered by being called boring. I guess we all have something that causes insecurity. I take lessons from her when I feel insecure about something. Along with her confidence, she walks to the beat of her own drum, she is self-owned and self-made.
2. Being a deep-thinking.
Shay is definitely an introvert. Her desire to be alone or amongst a small group of friends gives her time to think about her beliefs, society, politics… We actually met and bonded over our common ideals during a black feminist rally. If I need to think through a problem or I need someone to rant with about injustice, she is my go-to person. She will sit in silence during a kick back, but when she speaks, it is brilliant.
3. Being responsible.
During her years in high school, Shay never got in trouble. In college, she was holding down 2 jobs, Dean’s list, an apartment, and had already started investing in her retirement. On the occasion she would venture out to a bar or club, she sipped on the same drink for at least 2 hours. She was always the designated driver (DD) and voice of reason when others got drunk and rowdy.
Staying out until last call was unheard of for Shay. She was out the house by 10 p.m. and back in by 12 a.m., if she was needed as a DD, she would come in her sweats. I also realized she is very happy to have responsibilities, I believe it actually makes her happy to be alone, pay bills, watch C-SPAN, and eat 80% cocoa chocolate.
4. Having a healthier lifestyle.
Shay was the first person of my age group to get the message about taking care of your body while you're young in order to be healthier in later years. Some years back we went on a beach trip for the weekend and Shay was the only one with great sleep habits (the kind experts recommend). She also lives her life with minimal risk, as in low-risk behavior.
5. Being mature.
Shay has climbed the ladder in her career working for an accounting firm. She describes her job as, “boring, but it is perfect for me since numbers are always consistent…2 will always be 2…”
She showed me her evaluation and her supervisor described her as reliable, organized, a leader, and mature. I 100 percent agree. Her maturity has landed her a successful career, she makes wise decisions, is not reckless, and she learns from the mistakes of others as well as her own. I have a temper, and although over the years it has gotten better, there are times when I feel like being petty.
During these times, the voice of Shay is who I hear say, “you are frustrated and I understand, but will you care tomorrow?” See!! Voice of reason, my conscious speaks in her voice.
I, personally, do not find Shay boring at all, she is simply, her. She can be funny in her own way and the conversation is always great. I have had conversations with “fun” people and not felt enriched or encouraged as I do after a conversation with Shay. I was hoping to uplift her, by showcasing her greatest qualities.
For all who have been labeled boring, it is OK, you possess qualities many lack. Shay has seen some of the most beautiful places the word has to offer, her “boring” behavior has allowed her to fully take in her experiences because she is not worried about "turning up" on vacation or seeking the best adventure. She walked the streets of Havana last month taking pictures, absorbing the culture and observing the people.
Everyone can’t be the life of the party, if you chose not to participate in the fun social scenes of friends, do not feel being labeled “boring” is negative, instead think of the positive qualities being labeled boring carries.
