High school was definitely a breeze for me. The worst grade I ever received on a report card was an A-, and I graduated as Valedictorian of my class. I thought school was easy and that I would never be one of those who struggled or did poorly. Then I went to Case.
I had heard that the engineering curriculum at Case was challenging. Going into first semester, I expected to be challenged, but not to the point where I couldn't handle it. My first shock was getting back a test that I had scored less than 90% on (far less than 90%). That had never happened to me before. I didn't know how to react.
In high school, I usually had one of the highest grades on the tests I took. So, my brain still trained to think like that, I asked a few friends what they got on the test. Many did far better than I did. I wasn't used to that.
Not accustomed to receiving poor grades in school, I felt like a failure. In reality, I really wasn't doing too poorly in the class, but my perfect A record was a thing of the past; that's what I couldn't come to grips with. I felt ashamed of myself when I shouldn't have.
This put things into perspective for me. I was really lucky in high school. While I found things easy, other students were struggling just as I now was. A sort of understanding came over me. I had really taken everything for granted.
Case Western Reserve University is full of incredibly smart and talented students. Listening to my peers' accomplishments, I never cease to be impressed... and feel inadequate. The problem with the transition to high school to college is the population. In high school, your classmates have a range of academic talents. There's also a lot less of them, so it's easier to stand out. In a college such as Case, however, you're amongst the best of the best. Surrounded by many other smart students, it's a lot harder to shine. Classes in college are also a whole lot more difficult than in high school. You certainly can't get away with not studying anymore.
This is all difficult to deal with, but I don't think it's a bad thing. While for a while, I was in the dumps, I now realize that it's just more motivation to do better. If I want to succeed and stand out, I just have to work harder for it. And if in the end, I don't do as much or as well as the student sitting next to me, that's okay. We shouldn't measure our success by comparing ourselves with others.
So, while I sometimes feel dumb or inadequate, in the end I know its important to remember that I was admitted to this amazing school, so there must be something about me that's above average.
