Top Dating Tips (From Various Songbirds And Waterfowl) | The Odyssey Online
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Top Dating Tips (From Various Songbirds And Waterfowl)

Don't Be Chicken!

11
Top Dating Tips (From Various Songbirds And Waterfowl)
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It's nothing to crow about: dating is never easy, and not all tips work universally for everyone. You can't just rely on tweeting to pick up chicks, or hawking yourself off to the first one to come along. At times, it may even seem simpler to just duck out of relationships altogether. So, just on a lark, I've flocked together bits of advice from a variety of individuals on how keep looking fly without appearing too flighty. Hopefully, at least one of these will help you find that special someone who will fit the bill. It's better than just winging it.

Flamingo: "Take her out to dance with your friends. It really builds, like, a sense of community."

Albatross: "Mutual grooming is where it's at. It builds trust, you both end up looking your best. It's a win-win, basically."

Eastern Meadowlark: "Start to sing whenever she's around you. Just keep singing. Don't stop, ever. Show no weakness. Sooner or later, she'll fall for you. I don't really know the mechanics of it."

House Wren: "Just build your partner a new place to live. After that, they can decide for themselves whether or not they like you. Architecture is a window to the soul, they say."

Pigeon: "Approach the object of desire very slowly, bowing every now and then, emitting quiet hums to gage interest. Wait, are we talking about a potential mate or a dropped hot dog? Sorry. I got confused for a minute."

Adelie Penguin: "Give your partner a rock. Nothing too flashy or too big. A real smooth one. Take it from someone else if you have to. The rock is an extension of yourself. It represents who you are. All of your worth hangs on this rock."

Northern Harrier: "Nothing says 'I care about you' quite like circling around their home with a dead mouse in your clutches."

Emperor Penguin: "You know what will show him that you love him? Walk seventy miles straight through the middle of Antarctica."

White-fronted Parrot: "The ladies go absolutely wild when you draw her in close, put your mouth on hers, and regurgitate into her mouth. Chicks dig a predigested meal."

Brown-headed cowbird: "Fight everyone and everything else that comes near your partner. When you are their only option, they will have no choice but to love you!"

Red-legged Partridge: "Red legs!!!"

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