Have you ever seen an attractive person walk by and smile at you? Have you ever turned around to see if they were smiling at someone else? Have you ever walked away from these experiences wondering if they were smiling because they liked you or because you had spinach from the salad you ate for lunch stuck in your teeth?
You’re not alone, I’ve done all of that! Let’s face it-- people can be tricky to figure out.
First, let me clarify one thing: flirting is not the same as attraction. Attraction comes before flirting. It takes our brains 90 seconds to four minutes to decide whether or not we are attracted to someone! Crazy, right? Once our brains have decided that we’re attracted to someone, different behaviors kick in and unfortunately, give it away (if you know what to look for).
Helen Fisher, a cultural anthropologist, discovered that flirting is universal and instinctive! She created a list of behaviors to tell if someone is attracted to you. Um, what? Is this real?
You bet it is, so listen closely!
If a woman is attracted to a man, she will...
- Smile/blush
- Make increased eye contact/pupils dilate/blink more frequently
- Adjust vocal tone and pitch to match his
- Fiddle with her hair or jewelry
- Laugh when he laughs
If a man is attracted to a woman, he will...
- Smile a toothy smile
- Look you in the eye
- Face his body toward her
- Stand taller and try to appear bigger and stronger
- Try to appear more masculine
Although these behaviors are subtle, if you pay attention you may be able to figure out if people are attracted to you! While these behaviors are very good at exposing attraction, everyone is different, so don’t be surprised if you only notice one or two of these behaviors.
**It is very rare for one person to display all five.
Enjoy your new knowledge and use it wisely!
