"Work retail. It'll be fun."
-- No one ever

Corny, I know. For my fellow retail employees, I salute you. I know the drive to work makes you question turning around and going back home to bed somedays, I've been there.

There's a lot of things that we retail employees go through that non-retail employees don't realize. I say this because prior to working in retail, I didn't realize how rough these people have it. Working with people isn't my issue, it's the nasty, "I'm entitled" customers that really get me going. Over the course of my year journey in the business, I've discovered many things that really irk me.

1. "This is America, we get our money back!"

Did I not tell you before you slid your credit/debit card or handed me your cash that you have 30 days to exchange or get store credit. We DO NOT give money back. You then proceeded to "yes" me because you probably either weren't listening or didn't give a crap about what I was saying, so you slid your card and that was it... into the cloud your money went. So two days later you come back into our store because you saw these gorgeous Steve Madden boots and you'd like a refund. BUT -- what you didn't realize was that before you left, I signed the back of your receipt, confirming that I read you our return policy. So, now you're pissed. "Where's the manager? I want to speak to the manager." Honey, the manager is on my side. We're on the same team.

2. "Why Do You Need All This Information?"

Me: "May I have your last name please?"

Customer: "Smith"

Me: "Your first?"

Customer: "Kelly"

Me: "Zip code?"

Customer: "Why do you need all this information..."

To be completely honest with you, after work I was planning on posting up outside of your house with a tub of popcorn to watch your TV through your bay window. Every customer gets a client profile created for them to keep track of receipts as well as send emails. I did not create this system -- I'm just doing my job my capturing your information. Please don't attempt to bite my head off because I'm simply doing my job, thank you very much.

3. "JUST BROWSING, THANKS"

When I see a customer walk in the door, my natural reaction is to greet them. "Hello, how are you today?" Some days I'll even throw in a smile. "I'M JUST BROWSING, THANKS." Wow, I don't remember asking what you were shopping for today. Customers are so quick to become defensive and automatically assume I'm harassing them for their sale. The funniest part of it all is that I'm not even a sales associate - -I'm a cashier.

4. "I'm Gonna Try On 800 Things And Not Buy Any Of It"

It's one thing to bring a couple of items into the fitting room and end up not liking any of them, I've done it. It's another thing to bring in SEVERAL pieces and not be happy with anything. It's also another thing to leave everything in the fitting room, scattered across the fitting room floor; in balls and inside out. Opening up its door after a customer has left, I never know what to expect. Were they a neat customer or a sloppy customer? Yes, I understand, I work retail but cleaning up after you isn't my job. I've had some customers walk out of the fitting room, hand me all of their clothes wrapped up in a ball, walk away and leave. When I walk into a store and I try things on, I always place everything back on its hanger and return it to the rack; guess that's just how I was raised though.

5. Please Get Off Your Freaking Phone

Nothing irritates me more than when I'm ringing a customer up and they answer a phone call. Yes, I understand sometimes it's necessary. But if I hear you chatting about your day and the traffic at Tanger, don't you think you could give ME the common courtesy of calling that person back in five minutes? An entire transaction, depending on the amount of items your purchasing, normally takes about five minutes. All I'm asking for is five minutes of your undivided attention so you can leave this store happy and I can move on to the next customer. Most people in this day and age cannot multi-task. So, I've come to realize that if someone is on the phone, I have to ever so patiently wait for them to be finished. RUDE.

Above all, working in retail has shown me patience, patience- and patience. It's shown me that sometimes you have to bite your tongue, or the bullet. And that sometimes you may want to jump across the counter and ring a customers neck along with their items, but you can't.

I pray for sanity in my future retail endeavors. As I take a position with a new company I hope the lessons and tools my old job has taught me stay intact.

And lastly, I pray that the people reading this article become more conscious of the customer they are. If you don't, know that I will find you... and I will kill you.

(Yes, that was a "Taken" reference.)