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Top 5 Lesser Known Christmas Classics

You won't believe you've never heard these festive tunes.

JT Cunningham

Dec 05, 2016

Hamline University

MowryJournal

Amazing that these hidden gems never got the radio play they truly deserved.

I Saw Daddy Hitting Santa Claus

The sequel to the classic tale of infidelity and the destruction of youthful innocence. With its catchy rhythm and even catchier lyrics, it’s a surprise this one didn’t make a bigger splash on Christmas radio.

I saw Daddy hitting Santa Claus/right by mommy last night/she didn’t know what to do/now that her husband is strangling her jolly new beau.

Baby, I Got a Restraining Order

Having those weary old holiday blues and need cheering up? Well, look no further than this 1965 gem. Now only will it remind you of that old girlfriend you keep calling and hanging up on, but just how toxic the relationship was to begin with!

Baby, it’s cold out here/I know, get off my lawn, Steve/Please don’t make me leave/I got that restraining order for a reason/please baby my balls are freezing/I’m calling the police/Okay, I get it, I get it, sheesh.

O, Annual Family Dinner Argument

Everybody has relatives that just love to spout uninformed political opinions, and this song perfectly captures just how uncomfortable it is to argue with a Trump supporter about how gay people, hispanics, and Muslims are people too.

O Racist Uncle Greg shut your mouth/Not until we shock the gay out/that’s just obscene/oh yeah, well check out my gun’s shining metal gleam! *gun shots are heard in the background, people scream, police sirens sound, and a paramedic arrives on the scene asking if anyone is seriously injured*

Ambiguous Winter Holiday

Written to include all races, creeds, ethnicities, sexual and gender identities, and religions, this one manages to capture that warm holiday spirit of the season.

I hate everyone on the earth/my only Christmas wish is for them to all fuck off/seeing everyone disappear gives me mirth/2016’s been bad enough.

Rudolph the Capitalist Slave

You all know the story. An outcast with a genetic defect is given the slightest hint of appreciation because he exploited his physical attributes to further the cause of free-market capitalism.

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer/saved the commercial season/now we ignore him completely/our prejudices aren't unmade just because/you managed to get our boss paid.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Top 5 Lesser Known Christmas Classics

You won't believe you've never heard these festive tunes.

I Saw Daddy Hitting Santa Claus

Baby, I Got a Restraining Order

O, Annual Family Dinner Argument

Ambiguous Winter Holiday

Rudolph the Capitalist Slave

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

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There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

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7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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