I get it. In this culture we think childbirth is scary, breasts are for pleasure and not for food, and hospitals are the safest place to give birth. Except none of that is true. So please, if you feel like saying any of the following to me, just keep it to yourself. You aren't changing my mind, I can assure you.
Wanting an un-medicated birth is just stupid. You’ll want the epidural.
Last time I checked, you don’t know my pain tolerance. And last time I checked, women have been delivering babies since…I don’t know…the beginning of mankind without pain medication. If you’re into that then by all means, enjoy it. But let me be clear here. If you go into birth with the mindset “I WILL get an epidural” then you probably won’t be too focused on getting through the contractions without pain medication. I mean, it seems pretty straight forward. So while I understand that there are plenty of things that could go differently than I plan, taking drugs is an unlikely scenario for me. Just because you didn’t want to give birth this way doesn’t mean I don’t, nor does your experience mean I can’t be successful.
P.S. – If you’ve never given birth, shut up.
Don’t even try to breastfeed. / Don’t breastfeed past * insert very specific time frame*.
I don’t have any strict expectations here. Obviously, I want to try to breastfeed and generally speaking, I know I can. “Breast is best” isn’t a phrase thrown around to make formula-feeding moms feel bad. There’s a lot of research about why it is, in fact, the best option for baby. Here’s a little info if you aren’t aware. I don’t expect it to be easy but I know very well what my body is meant to do, and yes, I have also researched what could inhibit my child and I from being successful. Similarly to the whole no medication thing, I’m surrounding myself with support so that I am most likely to be successful. After all, positivity alone won’t necessarily make this all work out. But positivity, research-based care, and a great support system all together? That formula is what will help me on this journey, not your nosy and unneeded comments. Also, what’s with you thinking you can tell me when to stop breastfeeding? That’s definitely none of your business, thank you very much.
You’re crazy to not give birth in a hospital.
I get where someone is coming from when they hear me say I'm choosing to deliver outside of a hospital and they think I'm nuts. Now, statistically speaking, there isn't much of a greater risk of infant death out of the hospital as long as there is a licensed midwife present who works based off of research, and not just holistic treatment methods. But right now, c-section's make up 1/3 of US deliveries. Inductions have become normalized and drugs have become the expectation instead of an option. I won't go too far down this rabbit hole but if you're interested in learning more about why out-of-hospital births are on the rise in the US and why inductions/drugs and other interventions can actually inhibit natural hormone and chemical production for mom and baby, as well as how they effect postpartum care and breastfeeding success, do some research. It's actually really interesting.
Anyway, hospitals just freak me out. After finding out that I could deliver outside of a hospital, especially because I already knew I wanted an un-medicated birth, a birthing center was an amazing option. And if all goes well with the next pregnancy, I'm hoping for a home birth. I tend to get anxious in hospitals and since my pregnancy has been going really smoothly, there's no reason for me to fear giving birth outside of a hospital. It's not for everyone and I know that, but I've done the research and I understand what I'm doing. Thanks for the concern but baby and I will likely be just fine. And if not? My midwife has a hospital very close by that will take me and allow her to stay with me. That is the care that I'm looking for so don't you worry your pretty little head about us.
