When I was about eight years old, I had my first panic attack. It’s something that impacted my life so severely that I can still remember it vividly from this day. Since then, I have struggled with anxiety. A few years later, when I was in my late teens, my therapist added depression and an adjustment disorder to that diagnosis.
In the simplest of terms to try to describe my disorders, depression is the absence of feeling and anxiety is feeling everything and then over-analyzing each feeling until it drives you crazy. It’s basically like being on a roller coaster that you can’t get off no matter how much you want to. It took me a while to be open about my mental illnesses. For many years, I felt like a freak. I wanted nothing but to be "normal." I’ve finally realized that everybody is different and that I can’t control the way my brain functions — I’ve just learned to live with it. Although I have learned to live with it, some people, even in 2016, don’t understand the severity of mental illnesses. Here are the top three misconceptions I have dealt with regarding mental illnesses.
First, taking different medications is nothing to be ashamed of. I didn’t get on anxiety medication until I had a relapse when I was about 18 and was able to make the decision of being prescribed medicine on my own. Let me tell you something: it was a world-changer. All of a sudden, I felt like my emotions were balanced out and although I still sometimes get anxious or depressed, it isn’t such an up and down cycle anymore. For anyone that tells you that "drugs are a crutch" or that "you don’t actually need them," then they don’t know what they’re talking about. Would they ever suggest that a person with diabetes go without insulin? NO. That would just be ludicrous. So why should a person with mental illness be forced to go without medication? People suffering with depression and/or anxiety have a chemical imbalance in their brain. The medications even out those chemical imbalances and help people live a much healthier and happier lifestyle.
Second, I can't just get over it. I can’t tell you how many times I have had people tell me to "just be happy" or to "just get over it." These statements can be so devastating to people who suffer from mental illnesses because they can’t actually do that. Like I said before, mental illnesses are caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. That is a medical problem, not something somebody can just "get over." There have been times when I wanted nothing more than to be able to just go out and do something without having to take a Xanax or not be absolutely on edge the whole time, but I can’t. I am so envious of the everyday things "normal" people can do in their life that they take for granted and I work so hard to be able to do them. So please don’t discredit me and tell me to just go out and get over it, because I’m trying to. It just takes a lot of work.
Lastly, many people, my friends included, think that I am the most boring, un-fun person that exists. That’s not true — I just don’t have fun like all of them do. Being around a lot of people, especially ones that I don’t know, is terribly stressful and is just setting me up for a panic attack, and that isn’t fun. Over the years, I’ve learned what my triggers are and how to avoid them. For me, a fun night is a night with close friends in a familiar setting, not being at a club or bar or some wild party. And of course when I do go out in those settings, I’m not fun because I’m miserable. So no, I’m not boring; I just have to have fun in my own way.
Living with anxiety is not something that is easy. Unless you have lived with it, you will never fully understand what people have to go through on a daily basis so before you are quick to judge or make assumptions, remember that the littlest things to you can be a huge challenge to other people.
