Top 20 Best Dog Names | The Odyssey Online
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Top 20 Best Dog Names

Looking for the perfect name for your pup? Boy, do I have some good ones for you.

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Top 20 Best Dog Names
Forbes

While torturing myself on Petfinder.com, looking for a dog that I will never have in my tiny dorm room, I happened upon some truly beautiful and unique dog names. So if you're looking for the absolute best for that special pup in your life, here are the top 20 dog names that are right for you. :)

1. Juggernaut.

This name is for all the go-getting dogs, the dogs who are truly motivated to fetch the ball or get that raise in their accounting firm. Either way, this dog is going places.

2. Questions?

Questions? Is a curious dog, one that’s never stopped dutifully chasing his tail, waiting for the glorious moment of triumph in which he finally catches it. One day, Questions?, one day.

3. MV’s Seahawk.

Who is MV you may ask? Who cares?? You’ll have so many people inquiring about the origins of this name that you’ll finally get all the attention you so desperately crave.

4. Go Wax It.

For all you forgetful dog owners, this pup is here to remind you of one task, and one task only--Go wax it! The ambiguous “it” will haunt you as you lie awake at night and wonder what else you could possibly wax off your body. The dog’s unrelenting barks will not cease until you find just one more piece of hair on your body. The dog is never satisfied--when will it be satisfied?!

5. Batman.

If you are disappointed that you dog is neither a) a bat or b) a man, name him this to remind him that he will never live up to your expectations.

6. Napoleon Dynamite.

See above.

7. Jello.

This is for all the wiggly dogs out there, the dogs who act like a slinky as they bumble down the steps to clumsily greet the people at the door. Keep shaking your butt, Jello, the guests love it!

8. Big Daddy and Momma.

A great name for a dog couple if you’re looking to conjure up the image of two people who are Southern enough to demand that they only be called this. One probably has a Confederate hat on.

9. Shelly Belly 800.

If you're looking for a name that says "sweet," "loving," and also "sentient automaton," Shelly Belly 800 is definitely the dog name for you!

10. Papa John.

This one's for all the former frat boys who had way too many drunken nights ordering from probably the worst pizza place in the whole world--but ah, memories.

11. Brutus.

Name your dog Brutus and when he rips up your favorite pair of shoes on the Ides of March you can softly cry, "Et tu, Brutus?"

12. R.

Yes, just the letter R. R as in Rover, but no that's not his name--how many times have I explained this Ashley? I'm sorry; please don't leave me.

13. Tuesday.

Have you seen the meme of "Tuesday again?" dog? If so, you know this name comes with a sense of existential despair, cloaked by layers of ironic humor--for all those 20 somethings out there, this should perfectly match your sad aesthetic.

14. Ethel Merman.

Give 'em the old razzle dazzle--and a shaky vibrato to their howl.

15. Casper Blue Eyed Hunk.

This is for all the dogs who look like your ex boyfriend, whose haunting blue eyes can never leave your memory. Casper Blue Eyed Hunk (the dog) softly whispers: "He's never coming back, Nancy. And I think you already knew that. Please name me something else before I pee on the carpet again. I'm getting real sick of your junk, Nancy."

I was so inspired by these perfect dog names on Petfinder.com that I decided to make some up myself. Enjoy...

16. Lean Cuisine.

Who doesn't like a good Lean Cuisine meal? Not I! :) (This name has not been sponsored by Lean Cuisine. Yet.)

17. Bark Ruffalo.

The epitome of a perfect dog name. A pun on a famous person: check. A pun about dogs: check. BOTH names having an animal noise in it: check. You cannot get any better than that.

18. Mark Ruffalo.

But if you're scared of perfection, Mark Ruffalo will do as well. I mean, someone must have liked it enough once, right?

19. Esteban Julio Ricardo Montoya de la Rosa Ramirez.

If the Suite Life of Zach and Cody Theme Song didn't just run through your head, you are a liar, sir, and I cannot have you in my life. Good day, sir, good day!

20. Honk.

"Dogs don't honk! They bark!" some may say. I say to them, and you, right now: Irony is defined as when something unexpected happens, or the opposite of what one's speech implies. Also, I just like the musical Honk. It's not as bad as people might think. Go check it out.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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